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Co-Author of The Promise of Energy Psychology.
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Professor of Psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine
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Author of Molecules of Emotion.
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author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
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Author of Soul Medicine.
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Author of The Biology of Belief.
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Co-author of Your Hands Can Heal you.
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EFT for a Broken Heart

EFT for a Broken Heart

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

EFT for a Broken Heart

By Connie Kvilhaug

I’d like to pass along an EFT story that has personal connections to me; it involves a telephone session with my college-age daughter who was going through her first “broken heart.”  My daughter encouraged me to tell this story as she realized how quickly she was able to get over her broken heart and move on with her life. She thinks others should have this information so they don’t spend so many days, weeks, and months pining over somebody, but rather getting on with their lives and the process of living fully again.

Healing a Broken Heart

Last summer, I was in the middle of a business meeting and received a call from my college-age daughter who lives out of state.  She was crying and frantically spouting out words about her boyfriend breaking up with her, how much it hurt, etc.  I politely said I was in a meeting, tried to calm her down, and assured her I’d call back later.

I called her back just as soon as I left the meeting.  Now, we have the type of mother-daughter relationship where if I say something that I think is helpful, she gets mad, so I had to be very careful with the words I chose.  Nothing seemed to calm her down.

Finally, having exhausted all my “words of wisdom” and not getting anywhere with her, I decided to have her tap.  I didn’t think she would be willing to do this, but she was at the end of her rope. She was familiar with EFT, and although she didn’t think it would work, she was willing to try anything because her heart was hurting so badly.

So, over the phone I began saying different phrases that would help to de-escalate the immediate situation:

Even though my heart is hurting, and my boyfriend has been so mean…

Even though I don’t think I’ll ever like another guy the way I liked this guy…

Even though life sucks and I hate how much this hurts…

We did several rounds, just saying whatever words my daughter had used in one form or another.  We did a forgiveness-type round which went something like this, Even though _____ has hurt me so deeply and has been such a jerk to me, I forgive him as he is just doing the best he knows how…

I had my daughter take 3 deep breaths after several rounds, and then we would go through another few rounds, taking things from another angle.  After about a half hour, she had calmed down, stopped crying, and was taking some deep breaths and sighing (a sign of release of emotions.)  She told me she felt better, but was exhausted.  I told her to go drink a couple of large glasses of water, relax, and go to bed.

The next day, I got a call from her.  She said she felt great.  She woke up with more energy than she had had in a long time.  She got up and went for a swim, treated herself to a nice lunch at a restaurant she had been wanting to try, and called some friends to get together with them.

She was amazed that the hurt she felt the day before had vanished.  She thought she was going to feel lousy for weeks or months, but instead, she felt great the next day.  She said she felt bad about the situation with her boyfriend, but it just didn’t trigger her anymore.  Those deep hurt feelings were gone, and instead she was looking forward to the freedom of meeting new people in the future.

My daughter, who doesn’t always appreciate me or the things I do, literally thanked me about a dozen times during that one phone call.  She even called again a second time that day just to thank me again for the EFT session and to let me know how great she felt.  And this good feeling has lasted (even now 6 months later) – this is what amazes her the most.  She has continued to feel good, and those hurt feelings have never resurfaced.

She was adamant that people be told about this amazing thing called EFT.  She thinks of all the people who waste so much of their lives being “stuck” in heartache, and she wants them to know that they can move out of that “hurt” feeling into a feeling of hope and energy within virtually minutes of using EFT.

Connie Kvilhaug,

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