Community relief from grief with EFT
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Widespread community grief often occurs when a disastrous accident causes the death of one of it's families. Fortunately, we can lighten this load with EFT and Susan Maloney shows us how she did it. After 20 minutes of EFT for a group of 40 she says, "I gently asked if anyone noticed within themselves a shift, an increased energy flowing, some relief, feeling a bit more relaxed? It seemed that every head in the room started nodding yes. It was very powerful; the tension in the room had perceptibly reduced."
I have taught EFT workshops and frequently work with individuals with PTSD, grief and trauma issues. But until recently I had never done EFT with a group of people who were in shock, trauma and grief at the same time.
Two weeks ago, I was scheduled to give an EFT workshop to 40 parents whose children go to a co-operative preschool here near our small town. Three days before the meeting, our community suffered a tragic loss when an entire family, a local doctor, his wife and their 3 young children, were killed in a private plane crash.
The oldest child who was killed was a student in the pre-school; the school parents, staff and children were reeling from the loss. The scheduled parent meeting was still held, but the agenda changed to grief support; I asked to remain on the agenda even if just for a few minutes. While the Hospice grief counselors did a wonderful job guiding, and supporting the parents in their grief and concerns, I watched the pain, fear, disbelief and shock on all the parents' faces. Throughout that hour my heart started pounding as I felt my own anxieties and deep sadness bubble up; to stay grounded, I tapped for myself on my collarbone and wrists as I waited to speak.
I had no agenda other than get myself out of the way, meet them exactly where they were and allow EFT to do for them whatever each needed at that moment. I felt that I had to keep the tapping issues global and simple because so many people were vulnerable and there were no other EFT practitioners present to help if needed for individual support.
When I was introduced, I felt the rawness of the emotions in the faces in front of me. The first thing I did was take a minute to acknowledge and speak to their broken hearts honoring their own grief and anxieties for their children. It created a connection that was observable and honest.
Knowing they had little capacity to take in any new information, I told them I was going to do something with them that may help relieve some stress and I would do it in a very simple way as if I was with their children.
I invited them to take a minute, close their eyes and check in to see how they felt inside: noticing any physical pain, discomfort, tension, emotions. I then asked them to watch me and do what I did. I skipped the set-up (they already were on overload and tuned in to their own pain) and proceeded to tap IN SILENCE, staying on each point longer than normal (tapping at least 10 times) to allow them to really tune in and move more slowly through the process. We did two rounds.
I quietly asked them to recheck in with themselves, not expecting to get any verbal feedback---they were too spent. I gently asked if anyone noticed within themselves a shift, an increased energy flowing, some relief, feeling a bit more relaxed? It seemed that every head in the room started nodding yes. It was very powerful; the tension in the room had perceptibly reduced. I reminded them this was done without words by tapping on spots on our body that naturally help us feel better.
I tapped with them over 20 minutes in ways they could model for their children, never giving any explanation of EFT, just doing it with them, sometimes with words, often without. They identified favorite spots on their bodies that seemed to feel really good to tap on; I suggested they could cry with their kids while tapping together. They could vent and tap.
It was about taking care of themselves and modeling healthy grieving for their children. It was basically an exercise of relaxing in a very stressful situation using tapping. In the end, the director whispered to me, "Perfect" and invited me back to teach the techniques; the Hospice counselor hugged and thanked me saying it really helped calm him and others present said the same.
I deeply appreciate the gift of EFT and the healing it offered this group of grief stricken adults.