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Co-author of Your Hands Can Heal you.
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Professor of Psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine
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Author of Molecules of Emotion.
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author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
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EFT on Cooking, Love and Weight
Dear EFT Community,
Although Jasmine Bharathan's client came to her for weight loss issues, they discover underlying emotional deprivation. They eventually tap on a wide variety of related issues, especially self-worth.
"Feeling emotionally deprived" is such a key underlying factor in dealing with weight loss.
Enclosed is the transcript from a weight loss 10-week program; this is what unfolded for a client after a homework assignment of tapping
"Even though I feel so deprived, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.."
True to what happens in an EFT session, things unfolded from "feeling deprived that I am not a man" to various other things and finally coming to a place of peace.
A week after of this session, she reported
• Feeling blessed to be a woman
• Her bust size had increased by 1"! (She is 36 yrs old and not around her menstrual cycle at the time!)
• She doesn't "see" the angry look on her husband's face because she is a "bad" cook.
• She felt wonderful to just dress up, look and feel good about herself.
• She realized that her family loved her, they were just irritated that she didn't listen when they spoke with her. (A big change from feeling like a victim to someone who was taking responsibility for the part she played in her relationships).
While this transcript is specific to what unfolded for her and it is a pretty long read (although it was just about 15 minutes of tapping), others may connect with it too, as is what happened in the program.
She realized after the homework assignment that she was very angry that she was not a man. The statements are from the thoughts she shared.
Set up: Even though I am hot with anger ... I want to hit myself ... I am so angry that I am a woman ... I am so angry that I am not a man ...I feel deprived that I am not a man ... and I cannot accept myself ... and I am not willing to accept myself ... I feel deprived of being a man ...and I am not willing to accept myself.
I am so angry ... so red hot angry ... I want to hit myself ... how could I have chosen to be a woman ... I should have been a man ... I wanted to be a man ... I am so angry at myself ... how could I at a soul level have chosen to be a woman ...I wanted to be a man ... a woman's life is different from a man's life ... the roles that a woman has to play ...so many different roles ... they are so many ... I didn't want to play them ... I wanted to be a man ... I wanted to be a man ... and I am so angry
Then she felt it was a curse to be a woman and felt sad about it. (There was no anger anymore). Another aspect showed up.
Even though being born as a woman is a curse ... I am willing to relax in the moment now ... even though it is a curse to be born as a woman ...because the woman is mild ... is weak ... and is treated as weak ... but I am willing to relax now in the moment
Even though I can't accept that I am a woman ... I am willing to look at my spirit now.
Even though there are so many conflicts ... I completely love and accept my spirit.
Even though there is so much sadness ... being tied down as a woman ... I choose to accept my spirit.
Even though being a woman is a curse ... it is such a hardship ... although I am living in times that are much better than earlier ... it is still a curse ... because there are so many things that we are supposed to do ...that men don't have to do at all ... I mean this is unfair ... what is this ... it is such a curse ... but I choose to accept my spirit ...I choose to accept my inner being ... that is gender free.
Even though I have a conflict being a woman ... I accept myself as a spirit.
This sadness ...
I have to get permission for everything because I am a woman ...
I need approval because I am a woman ...
I am considered weak because I am a woman ...
I am not supposed to do certain things ... because I am a woman ...
I am forced to do things I don't like ... because I am a woman ... my body suffers because I am a woman ...
I am restricted and restrained because I am a woman ... but I find myself in the body of a woman ...
I am expected to be a woman ... so I am expected to fulfill all the roles ... there is so much conflict ... being a woman ... so much conflict ... so much conflict and sadness ...
I accept myself as a spirit ... being a woman ...
I accept the spirit ... being a woman ...
I am willing to accept the deep self ... being a woman ...
I am willing to relax in the spirit ... being a woman ...
I am willing to accept my inner self.
She felt no anger or sadness anymore. However, there was some tension in her shoulder.
She also said that she felt OK to accept herself now.
Even though there is some tension in my shoulder ... I completely accept myself ... even though there is some stress in my shoulder ...and it is also moving towards my arms ...I am willing to accept myself.
Even though there is some tension in my shoulders ... some burden that I am carrying ... I am willing to accept myself ... and I am willing to be open ... to the possibility of unburdening myself.
Some burden ... this tension in my shoulder ... this emotion in my shoulder ... tension in my shoulder ... burden in my shoulder ... I am willing to let go ... I am willing to be free ... I am willing to be a free spirit ... I am willing to accept the free spirit in me ... I am willing to feel free ...I am willing to relax ... I am willing to change ... this state of my shoulder ... I am willing to just let it go.
She now felt sad an inadequate and had a pulling down sensation in her chest.
Even though I am feeling sad and inadequate ... I am willing to accept myself.
Even though I am feeling sad and inadequate as a wife and mother ... it would have been a far easier to be a husband and father ... I am willing to accept my spirit.
Even though I am feeling low and sad ... being a woman ... I accept my spirit.
Tapping: Feeling sad in my chest ... feeling pulled down in my chest ... this sensation in my chest ... all these emotions in my chest ... inadequate ... being wife and mother ... I am inadequate … and I can feel it in my chest ... I am inadequate … and I feel sad ... but I accept my spirit ... I accept my spirit ... I am willing to look at my success ... I am willing to look at my success ... I am willing to feel safe with this change.
She then recalled an event when she was serving food to her husband; he had an angry expression on his face. He did not like the way she cooked. She felt disgusted recalling that scene and his expression.
She named the movie "No food, No love."
The globally stated tapping uncovered a specific event for us to tap on.
Even though I feel disgusted with this movie ... no food no love ...I am willing to accept my spirit
Tapping: No food no love ... so disgusting ... no food no love ... but I accept my spirit anyway ... I accept all my abilities anyway ... I accept all my inabilities anyways ... I am willing to love my spirit.
She then felt a suppressed kind of sensation and pain in her shoulders.
Even though I may have a need to suppress my emotion ... and maybe my shoulder takes it on ... I am willing to accept myself
Even though I may feel safe unsafe with my sadness ... and my shoulder takes it on ... I am willing to accept myself
Even though there is something remaining in my shoulder ... and I am so hurt ... I find it difficult to let go ... and I feel so sad ... and I am afraid ... that it all might just come out ... so many years ... but I am hurt ... and I can't let it go ... but I am willing to accept myself anyway.
Something in my shoulder ... not going yet ... this sadness ... not going yet ... all these emotions ... not going yet ... in my shoulder ... my body is helping holding it back ...all these emotions ... in my shoulder ... because I want love first I want to be accepted first ... I
want to be assured of love ... I want acceptance ... I want to be deeply appreciated ... whether I cook or don't cook ... I just want to be assured of love ... weather I am a good cook or not ... I just want to be assured of love ... food or no food ... good cook or not good cook ...
I just want to be accepted ... I just want to be accepted.
She felt extremely peaceful and settled and at a level of intensity of 0 on a scale of 0 to 10 when tested on previously stated issues. In the next group session, she walked in looking very pretty, extremely comfortable with herself and there was silence in the room as everyone was simply amazed at the transformation.