|Wayne Dyer |
"This really works... I've had great results with tapping in my own life."
|Nathaniel Brandon, PhD|
author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
"The techniques of EP have provided me with invaluable tools for working with trauma. No therapist can afford to remain ignorant of this new and exciting field."
|Bessel Van der Kolk|
Professor of Psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine
"EP techniques and procedures can bring about remarkably rapid changes in the way people feel."
Co-Author of The Promise of Energy Psychology.
|Norm Shealy, MD|
Author of Soul Medicine.
|Deepak Chopra, MD|
|"EFT offers great healing benefits." |
|Jack Canfield |
"The most powerful new transformational technology to come along in years."
|Eric Robins, MD|
Co-author of Your Hands Can Heal you.
Author of The Unmistakable Touch of Grace..
|Bruce Lipton, PhD|
Author of The Biology of Belief.
|Candace Pert, PhD|
Author of Molecules of Emotion.
Pack a Punch – Be Absurd – Make Yourself Sick!
by Margaret Taylor
I’m sick and tired of bingeing! I am sick and tired of feeling fat!
I had to fall into a disgusting low point in order to try something different. Tapping was introduced to me in 2009 by my EFT coach, Ann, and I found that it helped me center myself, take a step back, and pause.
It’s been helpful:
When obsessed with finances
Before a difficult conference at work
After a difficult situation at work
Before going to sleep if there’s something on my mind
In anticipation of a visit with an annoying family member
After an uncomfortable exchange with a co-worker
While driving to work in the morning
My words have been:
“Even though I feel guilty about making poor financial decisions in my divorce, I deeply & completely accept myself.”
Or, “even though I fear today will be a rough day at the office, I deeply…”
Or, “even though I feel that I disappointed my parents …”
I seldom tapped down to zero, but rather from approximately 8 to 4, in 10-15 minutes. I would continue tapping later in the day or again the next morning and get down to 2 or 3. It calmed me down and was a welcome change from the negative self-talk that usually bounces around in my head. I found that feelings of stress, fatigue, guilt or fear would reappear and I’d binge again. My mind was filled with regret over past events which continued to haunt me. I felt unworthy and comforted myself with food. It was a vicious cycle of bingeing and self-loathing.
With tapping, I was able to reduce some negative feelings. However, bingeing was still a huge problem which brought up guilt, and it was the main reason I was interested in EFT. If I tapped, “even though I’m afraid I’ll binge today, I deeply and completely accept myself”, I’d feel better about accepting myself but I might still binge. And bingeing caused me to feel worse about myself again.
Growing up, I was raised in an environment which was not open to expressing anger, frustration, disappointment, or failure. With a soft voice, I responded sweetly in all situations. I repressed emotions so that I might appear happy and be the person my parents wanted me to be. My family was afraid to address problems and challenges – these were never discussed.
Starting in my early teens, I quietly refused to do what a “person of authority” told me I should do. This person was a parent, older sibling, college professor, or my husband (now ex-husband, who thought he had authority over me!). My passive aggressive behavior explained why rather than completing the other person’s request, I’d express anger or resentment by doing nothing, making excuses, and actually working against the task. This counterproductive behavior affected many areas of my life. I shudder to think of my deliberate, repeated failures, and my passive resistance to follow through even my own expectations.
Contemplating the “persons of authority” in my life, it occurred to me that maybe I am a person of authority in my own life, and I rebel against myself in my efforts to lose weight and eat in a healthy manner. Could it be that I’m not going to do what I tell myself I should do? It’s time to be truthful and face my self-sabotage.
Random House Dictionary defines sabotage as an act or process tending to hamper or hurt. Deliberate subversion. I consistently started from the premise that I was a loser. I felt unsuccessful and destined to fail. Full of negative self-talk and a tendency to see myself as unworthy, I sabotaged myself when trying to change my eating habits. I’ve been in a pattern of eating in a healthy way for 5 or 6 days, then bingeing for 1 or 2 days. My weight has gone up and up slowly over the last 15 years, and it keeps going up! One day in April of 2011, trying to be abstinent, I hit a challenge at work during some conferences, when there was a big bowl of chocolate candy on the conference table. With no one else in the room, I helped myself to handfuls of candy and started a binge that lasted all day, full of insanity, leading to self-loathing and guilt. I was scheduled to be in this conference room with the same people for five more days, so I talked to my EFT coach about my guilt, temptation, and fear. Ann commented that some people might tap “Even though I really want the m & m’s”…and I thought BINGO! Face it - I want the m & m’s! It was an “aha” moment to admit head-on that I wanted to eat them. Instead of tapping about fear or bad feelings, I decided I’d tap “Even though I want the m & m’s, I deeply and completely accept myself.” It still sounded too nice to me. Knowing that if I started on the chocolate candy, without a doubt it would lead to a binge…therefore, could I say that if I want the candy, I really want to binge? And if I binge, I really want to be fat? Thinking that I am a “person of authority” and even though it’s ridiculous to aspire to bingeing and obesity, maybe I was quietly resisting doing what I was telling myself to do.
Saying, “Even though I’m afraid I’ll eat the candy” didn’t seem to have the punch I needed, so I decided to change my thinking to: “Even though I want to binge, I deeply & completely accept myself.” Just saying “I want to binge” got my attention and I tapped from 5 to 0 quickly.
Facing bingeing head-on as something that I WANT to do and tapping down to zero made it easier for me to manage my food and feel better about myself. Some statements that have punch & get my attention are:
“Even though …
I want to binge
I want to be fat
I want to eat the whole cake so no one else can have any
I love to stuff my body full of food trash, let it churn in my stomach, and make me sick
I love self-abuse
I love indigestion & constipation
I love to sabotage myself
I want to be obese
“…I deeply and completely accept myself.”
The statement needs to be ridiculous and an absurd notion that I can visualize. I visualize myself as obese, bingeing, unable to do anything but eat. For example, I might picture myself sitting in a corner on a little stool eating an entire cake or hiding in a closet, stuffing myself with sugar-laden food. I tap during quiet time before my morning shower. I sit down at my vanity in the bathroom, read a devotion, say a prayer, then write in a small spiral-bound notebook the date, what I’m tapping about, then I record the number I feel after each sequence, such as 5-4-4-3-2-2-1-1-0.
I usually start with a 5 and tap to zero, until I get a queasy feeling in my stomach – an uneasy feeling – and food doesn’t sound good. I tap down to zero until there is a physical response. This takes approximately five minutes.
Throughout the day, if the thought of turning to food for comfort enters my mind, I tap “I want to be fat”, “I want to binge”, or whatever is my tap for the day on my collarbone and both sides of my wrist until I sense internal discomfort. Even if I haven’t thought about food, it helps prevent bingeing behavior by tapping while in the bathroom, stopped at a traffic light, or waiting for a TV commercial to end, many times just a quick tap on either side of my wrist. This is a reminder that it’s a lot more fun to go through my day with sensible eating than with self-loathing and preoccupation with food.
I’ve had 8 good weeks with only one day when I slipped and binged. This is a big improvement! I’m experimenting with other feelings I might tap about, and I’ve found the topic needs to get my attention and be an absurd notion in order for me to tap down to zero. For example, we had a talkative weekend guest coming and I feared the constant conversation would wear me out. I tapped “Even though I love nonstop talking and nonstop questions, I deeply & completely accept myself.” Using these words helped me see her talking as silly and insignificant. I visualized her talking for every minute of her visit. In the end, her chattiness was not a problem for me, considering our long friendship. I also visualized myself taking a few minutes to myself each day, listening to music and relaxing in my bedroom. It was a great weekend!
My days go better when I take ten minutes each morning for reading, prayer, tapping, and checking in with my EFT coach by telephone. EFT and visual imagery have helped me tap to zero quickly, and when I’m tempted by a plate of cookies or donuts at the office, I tap my collarbone and either side of my wrist until I have the physical response – a sick feeling in my stomach.
Pack a punch, be absurd, & make yourself sick! It might work for you!
by Margaret Taylor