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Detailed EFT Example of Table and Legs Events and AspectsSwimming Out of Water by Catherine Garceau


By Catherine Garceau, EFT-INT-1

Changing Careers? Not trusting yourself?

Marie-Anne never felt accepted by her parents. Now at 37, she realized how much this was still affecting her.

With common comments like “Don’t think like an imbecile” coming from dad and “I know you better than you know yourself” being mom's song, it's no wonder Marie-Anne ended up with a bad case of inner doubt, confusion, and paralysis by analysis.

Having recently jumped out of her current (and dissatisfying job), Marie-Anne was seeing a career counselor, and she was drawn to EFT to explore her emotional landscape. She felt ready to let go of her parents' projections, expectations and judgments.

Marie-Anne's proactivity as a client helped make the most of our first session. She came prepared by having reviewed the basic material I sent her on EFT, including having emailed me the top #3 table 'issues' she felt affected by the most and the events that supported these 3 tables.

***Note to practitioners: Do you use the Tables and Legs analogy with your clients? If not already, I highly recommend it. Having a simple document that includes a visual of the tables and legs greatly augments the client's understanding. It seems to minimize overwhelm by giving them a sense of organization within their emotions, beliefs, and relevant events.

In this case, after a quick review of her detailed email (more detective work), I proposed starting with the tabletop that felt the most disabling to her at the time:

1. Feeling stupid/wrong (and thus confused) about her thoughts and decisions.

She had 7 events detailed under this table, 3 of which were specific, so we started with those. The one she felt the highest charge with was a comment her dad always said to her “Don’t be such an imbecile."

I asked her to pick the first or the worse time she remembers hearing him say this comment. Right away, she replied that it was just the other day, in the car. It’s when she realized how often he actually said it to her, and how much it made her feel 'wrong' and 'stupid'.

We started tapping (event #1 aspect #1 - Feeling stupid of stating her opinion/decision):

Even though I felt so stupid that dad thinks I'm an imbecile, I love and accept myself now.

Even though I felt stupid and wrong that dad said I was an imbecile when I told him my decision, I’m willing to love and accept myself.

Even though I felt wrong and stupid when he said "Don't be an imbecile! when I told him what I was thinking of buying for Christmas, I love and accept myself anyway.

We then tapped 2 full rounds (including the finger points) using the following words. When her breathing got deeper and calmer is when I introduced positive re-frames:

Feeling wrong

Again

I can never say anything right with dad

Feeling stupid

Feels yucky in the pit of my stomach

I never make good decisions according to him

"Don't be an imbecile!"

So tired of him staying this

What a jackass

Feeling so wrong

Feeling stupid

So tired of his negative energy

Feeling stupid

Feels yucky in the pit of my stomach

Feeling wrong again

Maybe I can let go of what he thinks

At least for that time I clearly remember him saying "Don't be an imbecile"

I know I’m not an imbecile

We’re obviously not on the same page

And maybe it’s time I disentangle from his energy anyway

And his belief system

And his judgments

And his expectations of me

I could never meet them anyway

What a jackass. He's made me so mad.

Releasing this time when he made me feel so wrong

Releasing this time when he made me feel stupid again

Releasing all this doubt about my decision

It was actually a great idea for Christmas

Releasing feeling wrong

Releasing feeling stupid

It's OK for me to feel good about my decision

I don't have to take in his energy anymore

I am not here to please my father

I am here to trust my own feelings

I am here to have fun

It's OK for me to affirm my good ideas

They don't have to be approved by my father

Feeling more calm in my body

I am a competent and intuitive woman

I love following my ideas to completion

It feels so good to feel confident

I love feeling this clarity

It's so great to hear and listen to my own guidance

I love this new way.

I feel calm and clear.

I asked her to rate her SUD of feeling stupid and wrong while in the car with her dad. She said it was now at a 3 (compared to a 10). She got all excited: “Wow! I totally see how this was affecting me – what a jackass in deed! And I really can be free of what he thinks, cool!”

'Jackass' was a word she used a few times when we were speaking about him so I knew it would be good to include it. The way she pointed out 'Jackass' here gave me a clue that her remaining SUD of 3 could be left over anger towards her dad.

We tapped specifically on the emotion of anger. (event #1 aspect #2 - feeling angry about dad's comment):

Even though I felt so angry that he would tell me that AGAIN, I’m ready to feel peace and love about it and myself.

Even though I felt so angry that he called me an imbecile, I’m welcome peace and choose to love myself anyway.

Even though I felt so angry that he would call me an imbecile AGAIN, I’m ready to feel peace and not be affected by his words.

Tapping continued with “so angry”, “What a jackass”, “gosh he angers me” “I can’t believe he said that to me”, “so angry” until calm set in.

When I asked her what she felt about him saying the comment to her in the car the SUD was down to 0! “I can see that it wasn't cool to say that but I feel unaffected by in now...what a relief!!!”

When I now asked her about her feeling wrong and stupid, there was still heaviness in her stomach. So we moved forward to her next event, mom saying “I know what’s right for you because I know you better than you know yourself."

"When did she say this to you last, and what did you feel?" I asked

"We were at the table at her house. We were discussing my current photography career move. She turned around from washing the dishes and told me that I needed to listen to her and stop trusting my own self, cause I was usually wrong. Right away, I felt stupid. I doubted myself and I no idea what was right or wrong anymore." Her SUD on this one was at a 9.

We started tapping (event #2 – aspect #1):

Even though I felt so stupid and doubtful that maybe mom was right, I love and accept myself.

Even though I felt so wrong and doubtful in that moment, maybe she was right, I’m open to feeling love for myself anyway.

Even though I felt so stupid and doubt when mom told me I should listen to her, I choose to love myself and accept my own decision.

All this doubt

What's wrong with me

Am I this stupid not to know anything for myself

This doubt

Here it comes again

Maybe she's right

I shouldn't trust myself

Clearly she's right

Look at her pointing down at the table

She’s so confident

I’m obviously not confident

So she must me right

Feeling so doubtful

Feeling so wrong

All this doubt

She’s clearly smarter than me

All this doubt

It’s clear I should listen

Feeling so much doubt

All this doubt

All this doubt

Feeling small and stupid

Feeling doubtful

All this doubt

Feeling doubtful

Mom must be right

But what if mom wasn't right

What if something better was awaiting me and my life

What if mom was holding me back from my happiness

Maybe I do know more than I think (and she thinks!)

Maybe I could trust myself a little more

It’s OK that she thinks she’s right about me

I don’t have to make her right

It’s my life

And it’s OK that we have different opinions

Maybe I can trust myself just a little more

All this doubt that she projected onto me

I’m ready to let it go

I’m ready to let it go

I’m ready to let it all go now.

Releasing any remaining doubt

Releasing my feeling of being wrong

Releasing it now

Releasing it all now.

Marie-Anne's face shifted. I could tell the positive reframes were sinking in.

I asked her to go back to the kitchen setting with her mom and rate the feeling of doubt and being wrong. The SUD was now at a 2, which led us to investigate where it was in her body, and the session continued as such.

After a few more rounds of following each aspect until the event cleared, and then moving on to the next event, Marie-Anne felt her stupid/wrong/doubtful table crumble.

She felt freer to explore photography as a new career and the excuses her mind had come up with to stop her in her tracks didn't have a hold on her anymore.

I love this example because many of us practitioners go through transitions in career. Moving through doubt and confusion in a methodical way can be immensely beneficial, even as borrowed benefits!

This highly productive session was a result of great preparation work, clarity in the table and legs concept, and persistence to stay focused on specific aspects within each event, before moving on.

More than 1 year later, Marie-Anne is now enjoying her new career of photography.

EFT for Intergenerational Healing The Genie in Your Genes Epigenetic Medicine and the New Biology of Intention book

Dear EFT Community,

In this article, EFT practitioner, Alice Grange looks to intergenerational healing as a source for healing present-day relationship issues. Healing ancestors and the energetic legacy that can afflict families generations later can produce positive changes in the lives of those family members. 

-Stephanie M


By Alice Grange

One of the things that excites me the most about EFT is the opportunity for intergenerational healing. As someone who specializes in helping clients heal from childhood abuse, it has become apparent to me that most perpetrators of abuse were themselves abused.

By adding Matrix Reimprinting to the mix, it seems possible not only to help present-day clients, but it may also be possible to heal the relatives whose unresolved suffering has been passed down to them.

I have worked with several clients who are particularly “sensitive,” that is, people who get premonitions, who see auras, and who have often been isolated and feared because of their special gifts. 

One such woman I had a second session with recently was “Patricia,” a woman from South America. In her late 30s, she wanted to work on her problematic relationships with men. She had often attracted and been attracted to bipolar men with “mental problems” who were “crazy and violent,” and she didn't want to attract any more of them!

While tapping and taking an emotional history, I learned that her grandfather had been “crazy” and a card player who lost everything; he beat his wife and ended up committing suicide by strangulation after his wife refused to forgive him.

Subsequently, his wife attempted to kill herself by cutting her wrists. She was unsuccessful but did die about 10 years later when Patricia's mother was only 16. 

While telling me of this background, Patricia began to see images of a “big chain with rings, attached to all sorts of other people's ankles, whose feet hurt and who were starving as they had nothing to eat.” 

Patricia was feeling very scared and had a big pain in her stomach that felt like it was empty, so we tapped on the fear in her stomach. After decreasing the fear, I asked her if she would be willing to go into the Matrix to help those people. She agreed and we arranged to take several supporters with her: Angel Rafael, her mentor, and a friend.

Patricia then reported smelling a “terrible smell” like “dead or dirty” people inside a “slave ship.” As she spoke of this, we brought in more angels for all of the people in the ship and Patricia decided to tap on “AKIK,” the eldest of the slaves. 

After introducing herself and tapping to AKIK, she reported that he felt great “aching pain” and pressure and fear of what was coming. He was hungry and thirsty and had lots of wounds. After a couple of rounds of tapping, AKIK reported feeling a lot calmer, but of all of them “wanting to kill themselves to set them free.” So Patricia brought in a magical axe to break all the chains, and then a “blue and white magical beautiful ship” to take them home. The ship was full of food and water and a pool with river water to bathe in. There were “angels chanting” and a great feeling of “love and compassion.” 

Eventually, Patricia brought in a cannon to sink the old ship and relayed the thanks of the formerly enslaved people whose new ship had turned around and was heading back to Africa, the people wearing beautiful clothes and sporting painted faces for “powerful connection.” She said they all now looked “young, strong, and beautiful” and were doing a “happy tribal dance.”

After Reimprinting all of these impressive new memories into not only herself but her whole family, both alive and dead, throughout all of South America and Africa, we checked back in with Patricia. 

I asked her about her feelings about her relationships with men now and she replied that she didn't need to try to heal all men, and didn't need to have a relationship with men with mental problems, or to attract bipolar people. “They are now all free and their energy is no longer with me,” she said.

We then went back in to the Matrix where Patricia saw thousands of beautiful ships to pick up everybody and take them back to Africa and their home villages. All these ships had plenty of coconuts as well as doctors and nurses (to take care of everyone and tend to their wounds), and also had a “magic potion” to put on their gums in order to grow new teeth.

After Reimprinting the more global memory, we discussed the possibility of doing future work on the slavers who took them in the first place. 

Patricia indicated that everyone was happy and she was very thankful for the help. 

While I am not one of those “supersensitive” people who can see auras and predict future catastrophic events, I think it is important to go with wherever the clients wants and needs to go. If time really is a constructed illusion, if everything really is energy and we are all actually energetically connected as the quantum physicists tell us, then the possibilities for healing the planet and everyone on it, with EFT, are even more incredible. 

One of the things I really appreciated from my 7-year stint as a practising Soka Gakkai Buddhist was the notion that, as I chanted, I was helping to heal seven generations of my ancestors. As someone who was trying desperately to figure out Karma at the time (what the heck did I do in a past life to deserve all this!), I took solace in the thought that Karma is mutable and that the past need not be a determination of the future—if we take steps to heal the past in the present moment.

I love the idea that we can surrogate tap not only on the living, but also on the dead. Tapping seems to work much better for me than just chanting! (I have suggested to a client who remains a chanter that she might want to incorporate tapping with her chanting.)

How EFT Levels out Life’s Little BumpsEFTU For Workshops AD-1

Dear EFT Community,

EFT Expert By Sherrie Rice Smith, shares how using EFT with her husband makes her laugh and how tapping helped her husband lower his stress and smooth out life's little bumps.

-Stephanie M


By Sherrie Rice Smith

EFT makes me laugh inside. The effectiveness on the little things in life is astounding.

EFT just plainly makes life so much improved.

Monday, my husband announces to me, after asking him several times what is bugging him (I always notice something is wrong with him long before he does for himself).  He responds that he is overwhelmed. I inquire about what. He tells me the details.

I ask, “Have you tapped?”

Sadly, as usual, the answer was, “No.”

We're eating lunch out when he decides to tell me how overwhelmed he is. I never care where we are or what we are doing, I tell him to just begin tapping – fingertips under the table, and let’s go.

I start him off with “overwhelmed”, and then I add “discombobulated and frustrated” to the tapping mix, after he explains his feelings.

At this point, I just leave him alone, as he knows quite well how to handle it; he’s just not to the point where he recognizes the problem. I guess we make a good team.

I notice the problem and he taps for himself, fixing his own issues.

Now, the part that makes me laugh is this: It took him all of 90 seconds to discharge the frustration, “discombobulation”, and overwhelm completely. Here, he has been fighting the feelings for 5 or 6 hours, doing some disorganized stunts, getting nothing accomplished, by his own admission, and 90 seconds of tapping eliminated the entire issue.

“I can’t believe how calm I am,” are his words as he stops tapping.

His SUDS drops from an 8 to 0 in 90 seconds flat! I tell him that he could go home and in less than an hour accomplish everything he hadn’t fixed in the previous 5 to 6 hours. He agrees. He knows well how the science works – put the blood back in the neo-cortex and suddenly thinking makes sense!

About 2 hours later, he phones to inform me that all he needed to accomplish was handled in about an hour -- just like I said with an added bonus. For the past 3 weeks, he thought he had two massive weekend events occurring back-to-back.

He wanted to attend both events, and he was getting flak from participants who wanted him to give up the “other” event for theirs. This lead to his frustration. He said he didn’t care, but obviously he did, or he wouldn’t have felt the overwhelm.

One of the organizers informed him that the two events weren’t the same weekend after all, but on successive weekends. He was discombobulated for no good reason, but it wasn’t until he settled down with tapping, and made the appropriate phone call, that he realized he had his weekends all messed up.

Did EFT fix Brad’s calendar?

Well, probably not, but it did clear him enough so he could ask the appropriate questions, completely clarifying all the issues around his overwhelm.

He then tells me, “You have to write this one up. It amazes me how this works”.

Yes, dear, I will write it up for you! EFT just levels out life’s little bumps, making all go so much more smoothly.

Note: Consult your licensed health professional about all health issues. By viewing this site you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy, our Disclaimer, and our Copyright Notice. Download our free Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT tapping) Get Started Package here, and go deeper with EFT Books and EFT workshops.

Donna Eden and David Feinstein on the Energy of RelationshipsTapping Deep Intimacy

Dear EFT Community,

At a recent conference where I presented, Christine and I were privileged to spend time with my precious friends Donna Eden and David Feinstein. They enjoyed the energy Christine and I share in our love relationship, and we enjoyed the energy they share. We spontaneously asked them to record a short movie clip on the subject, and you can sense their enthusiasm and good energy shining through! Many of our practitioners also use Donna's work; you can find out more at their Innersource web store here.

-Dawson Church


Enjoy Donna's thoughts on how energy is all there is and most certainly what love is about. People often think that it's psychological or you are incompatible. Donna disputes this by using herself and David as an example. In the early years of their relationship, David and Donna were completely incompatible, but they had this amazing energy bond and connection.

Watch the video and see more of what Donna and David have to say about energy in relationships.

Also be sure to check out EFT Tapping to Deep Intimacy Relationship Conference. A 12 week journey online to teach you how to change your behavior for great relationships at www.tappingdeepintimacy.com.

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. If you're a newcomer, please download our free Get Started Package, and refer to the EFT Books and EFT workshops for a more complete understanding. You will find our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy here, our Disclaimer here, and our Copyright Notice here. Please refer to a physician for all medical issues.Tapping-Deep-Intimacy-ad

How EFT Can Increase Compassion for Oneself

Dear EFT Community,

EFT INT-1 Practitioner, Zoe Zimmerman, offers an example of using EFT tapping to address unresolved issues from childhood and how they often influence your entire life until you resolve them.

-EFTUniverse.


By Zoe Zimmermann, EFT INT-1

EFT can be very effective in resolving family of origin issues, which can affect our adult relationships profoundly.  I’ve found that negative family patterns powerfully influence how we as adults interact at work, with spouses and friends, and with our children, as well as how successful and happy we are in our lives.

I worked with “Jim,” on difficulties he had in romantic relationships.  His issues stem from what happened with his mother, starting when he was a baby.  Everything he was and did failed to fit in with her idea of how a child should be, and she let him know regularly that he was not good, that he did not fit into the family, etc.  

Beginning at a very young age, he felt completely alone and scared; later he became angry and still later he became cold with others and also hated himself, and he felt that he was innately “wrong.”  

He had great difficulty in romantic relationships, alternately feeling abandoned and feeling and acting cold and shut-down toward his partner, and also disconnecting from and hating himself. 

Here’s how we worked on this:

We worked with a number of specific incidents, as well as more general family dynamics sessions.

Each time, after the “even though” statement, we tapped on similar statements.  Sometimes, when things became very intense, I tapped on him and repeated statements instead of having him do it. 

Here are some excerpts from more general sessions:

Even though I feel so alone, and could have been much happier, I deeply and completely accept myself and I’m staying right here with me.

Even though I have nothingness inside me, that’s always around, and I’m afraid of going into nothingness … I love even this in myself, and I’m staying right here with me.

Jim usually felt isolated and completely different from others.  After a number of tapping rounds, Jim felt that he was really there with himself and heard a voice inside himself saying that he is not alone. 

In another session we tapped:

Even though I feel unstable, and that life is meaningless, and I lose connection with life, I deeply and completely accept everything about myself.

Even though I feel desperate and disconnected…

Even though I am so angry… (These two statements are moving toward connection because they have feeling in them, rather than just feeling empty).

Even though I’m broken-hearted and hanging on with my fingernails, I deeply and completely love myself and I’m staying right here with me.

Even though my parents shut me out until I finally shut myself out from myself, I deeply and completely love myself and I’m staying right here with me.

At the end of this session, he felt compassion for himself and for the women that he has been in relationship with over several years.  During the beginnings of an argument with her, he was able to really see her point of view, and say that, and still feel that his view was also “right.”   

In another session we tapped:

Even though my mother attacked the very core of me…

Even though my mother blasted her own anxiety onto me, obliterating me…

His usual response would be to become hard and angry.  

But now it changed to:

Even though I feel sad and vulnerable, like a sapling, I have deep compassion for myself and am staying right here with my feelings.

Because Jim rejected himself so completely, he also tended to have a lot of ambivalence about staying connected with anyone that felt deeply attached to him.  It was intensely frightening.  He felt that, if someone loved him, there must be something wrong with them.  At the end of this session, he felt he was eager to have his friends see who he is and was feeling his strengths and his ability to handle his feelings.

In another session we discussed when Jim was a baby, his mother left him alone in the crib for hours, even when he was hungry or needed his diaper changed.  He felt such a threat that he went into a frozen, numb, slowed-down state.  This kind of state is a sign of trauma.  Over time, this became his way of protecting himself when he felt threatened in relationships.  The feeling of threat was often triggered when nothing threatening was actually going on in the present.

We tapped:

Even though, as a baby, I learned to shut down when I felt my life threatened, and some part of me is still living from that time, I consider the possibility that I can trust and move out into the world.

Even though a part of me has been protecting me from threat by shutting down, I deeply and completely love this part of me.  I thank it and hold it with compassion.  And I now give it a different role: to help me build my career and to stay connected to my friends, colleagues and myself.

In another session we discussed how Jim was never held, and his mother did not look into his eyes with love.  He realized that the feeling from her was that he was “trash.”  This was very painful.

We tapped:

Even though I have been taught that I’m trash, and have always assumed this is true… and I’m staying right here with me.

He became very sad and nauseous (a sign of trauma arising in the nervous system).  He noticed and stayed with the feeling while I tapped on him until it ebbed and disappeared.

Jim had always identified with being the one who is detestable.  He had believed, at the emotional level - even if not totally on the intellectual level - that his mother’s reaction to him was about him.  But he started to realize that this is not true.

We tapped:

Even though this was never about me; even though my mother felt alone and deeply unhappy in herself and took it out on me; even though I took this into myself and still somehow believe it’s who I am…

Even though I am contemptuous or disrespectful of people to whom I get close…

Even though I feel that they are trash because I am trash… He became sad, spacey and heavy (trauma experience arising again)

Even though I am deeply afraid and I cover it over by becoming spacey and heavy…

Even though I want to run away, and always want to run away from what I’m feeling…At this point, his back locked up, at a level of 10 on a scale of 0 to 10.

Even though I’m afraid of getting close and even though I’m afraid of opening up… His back loosened up totally, to a “0” after some tapping on this topic.

He started really feeling who he is, and felt free from what he had absorbed from the childhood atmosphere.  We also did a round on forgiving his mother so that he could separate out even more and be just himself.

After these sessions, he had much more compassion and love for himself, was able to perceive himself more accurately and to stay with whatever he was experiencing instead of shutting it away.  He was increasingly able to relate to what his girlfriend and other friends were feeling and experiencing.  He started being able to notice when he was feeling threatened and to notice whether anything threatening was actually happening.

And rather than shutting off from others, he was increasingly able to just let them know what he was feeling and thinking.

 

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