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Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

How to transform disappointment into gratitude


By JoAnn SkyWatcher

We heard that our friend Sunlight, a small vibrant woman in her eighties, fell and broke her arm so my husband and I went to the hospital to visit her.  The first thing she said to me was, "are you going to tap me?"

A steady stream of people from church came to visit and wish her well.  There were seven or eight visitors and not enough places for people to sit.  I didn't feel comfortable doing EFT with her as guests were entering and wishing her well.  Then the tide turned, and people started leaving, so I asked her if she still wanted me to tap with her.

She smiled and said yes.  This was her fourth day in the hospital, and she really wanted to go home ASAP.  I discovered that she was harboring doubts about whether she'd actually be able to go home the next day.  Her level of intensity was only 3 out of 10, and with one round of tapping the doubt dissolved.

As we were conversing, she started to complain about hospitals and the hugely wasteful way that they did business, pointing to the trash can filled with disposable products (she lives in the country by herself and is a passionate environmentalist.)  This was the most animated that I saw her during the visit.

I asked her if she would like to let go of the bad feelings she was holding about the hospital, and she agreed.  With her strong disapproval of the way that the hospitals did things, she decided her level of intensity was 9 out of 10.  I asked her to rub a sore spot on her chest, as she repeated something like this three times:

Even though I strongly disapprove of the way that this hospital wastes things and I know that I can't do anything about it...  I forgive myself for having been upset about this, and I forgive the hospital for the way that they do things.

Then I asked her to tap the top of her head (her crown chakra) with her available hand (she had broken her left arm, and had laid helplessly on the floor for several hours before being found) and say, Releasing my disapproval of the way this hospital does things.

As she was tapping her crown chakra her energy instantly shifted, before she even finished the above statement.  She was smiling and I could see more light coming out of her face.  Then I had her tap on the following points and say:

Eyebrow: Remaining disappointment about the hospital.

Side of eye: Gratitude for the hospital helping me.

Under eye: Disappointment about the hospital.

Under nose: Gratitude for the hospital helping me and other people that need it.

Chin: Disappointment.

Collarbone: Gratitude.

Under arm: Gratitude.

By the time my husband and I left her, the sun had indeed returned to our friend Sunlight, who is indeed a light unto the world.

JoAnn Skywatcher

EFT, gratitude and sleep

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

 


 

By Carol Solomon, Ph.D.

Sometimes I have difficulty sleeping, either waking up in the middle of the night or early in the morning and I can’t get back to sleep.  My mind is racing.  I am either trying to solve a problem or I am so excited about a project I am working on, that the details are swirling in my mind.  When this happens (2-3 times per week), I feel sluggish and miserable the next day.  I decided to create a practice to see if I could improve my sleep.

Practicing gratitude has been shown to enhance health and wellbeing.  In research studies, people who are asked to incorporate a daily gratitude practice report fewer health complaints and fewer symptoms of physical illness.  They feel more joyful, optimistic, connected to others, and more positive about their lives as a whole.  Gratitude group participants exercise more (about 1.5 more hours per week), get more hours of sleep, spend less time awake and feel more refreshed in the morning.  Perhaps this is why grateful individuals feel more vital and have fewer health problems.  They get more sleep!

These research findings are huge, in that inadequate, disrupted sleep and poor sleep quality are highly associated with lower overall health and wellbeing.  Sleep is a restorative process that affects every system in our bodies.  Sleep-deprived individuals have higher levels of stress hormones and compromised immune systems.

While gratitude is one of my highest strengths, I still need to work to cultivate a deep and enduring grateful heart.  I decided to combine EFT and gratitude.  So, while I am watching TV at night, I start tapping during the commercials.

First, I do a general round for not being perfect.  It's a great reminder that we don't have to be perfect, a great way to be kinder to ourselves, and a great way to start or end the day.

Even though I’m not perfect, I love and accept myself completely.

Even though I’m not perfect, I deeply and completely accept myself.

Even though I’ve made mistakes, I accept myself anyway.

Eyebrow: I’ve made mistakes

Side of Eye: I’m not perfect

Under the Eye: I’m not perfect

Under the Nose: It’s ok

Chin: I’m not perfect

Collarbone: It’s ok

Under the Arm: I accept myself anyway

Top of Head: Even though I’m not perfect

Next, I use EFT to clear any specific stresses, setbacks, worries or emotional upsets from the day.  I also tap on any mistakes I have made or any unresolved problems that could keep me awake at night.

Fear and anxiety tend to surface at night and can disrupt sleep.  Personal burdens and perceived obstacles can also block grateful thoughts.  EFT can be used to eliminate these concerns and any attitudes that are incompatible with a grateful disposition, such as pessimism, a focus on shortcomings, lack of confidence or an inability to admit that one is not self-sufficient.

Even though I feel worried about ___________, I love and accept myself.

Even though I’m not sure what to do….

Even though I’m not sure I am making the right decisions…

Eyebrow: I’m worried about making mistakes

Side of Eye: I’m not sure what to do about __________.

Under the Eye: I don’t know if I’m making the right decisions

Under the Nose: I don’t know how to solve it right now

Chin: I don’t know if I have what it takes

Collarbone: I feel anxious about making mistakes

Under the Arm: I don’t like not knowing what to do

Top of Head: I’m worried about ___________.

If I don’t have a lot of worries that day, then I might do a round on my “shoulds.”

Eyebrow: I should be a better parent

Side of Eye: I should eat better

Under the Eye: I should exercise more

Under the Nose: I should be kinder to other people

Chin: I should volunteer more of my time

Collarbone: I should spend more time with my family

Under the Arm: I should support my friends more

Top of Head: I should be more patient

Then I do rounds for what I am grateful for.

Eyebrow: I am grateful for my family

Side of Eye: I am grateful for my health

Under the Eye: I am grateful for my home

Under the Nose: I am grateful for my dog

Chin: I am grateful for my work and the opportunity to serve people

Collarbone: I am grateful for the contribution I have made in the lives of others

Under the Arm: I am grateful for the presence of God in my life

Top of Head: I am grateful for the love of my friends

Research has shown that the good things in life are enjoyed even more when perceived as a gift.  Gifts have givers, and gratitude can extend to the goodness of the giver.  If the receiver acknowledges the giver behind the gift, they are likely to feel even more grateful.  So I include the gifts and the giver behind the gift.

Eyebrow: I appreciate my parents for the gift of my life and the sacrifices they made

Side of Eye: I appreciate my husband for his love and support

Under the Eye: I appreciate the gift of being a parent (I’m an adoptive mom, so there was a very definite giver)

Under the Nose: I appreciate all of the opportunities I have been given to serve the world

Chin: I appreciate my friends and the love I have received from them

Collarbone: I appreciate my newsletter subscribers for the opportunity to help them

Under the Arm: I appreciate the presence of God in my life

Top of Head: I appreciate the divine guidance I am receiving

Issues can be global or mundane.  The important part is the regular practice of gratitude and acknowledgement of the blessings that one has received.

Eyebrow: I am grateful for my dinner

Side of Eye: I am grateful that my home is warm

Under the Eye: I am grateful that I have such a comfortable place to sleep

Under the Nose: I am grateful for my coffee in the morning

Chin: I am grateful for the beauty of the flowers outside my window

Collarbone: I am grateful that I can take a big, deep breath

Under the Arm: I am grateful that I have everything I need in this moment

Top of Head: I am grateful that right now, I have enough

Then I add my wish list – things that I want, but haven’t yet received – just for fun.  Grateful people tend to be happier and more content with life as it is.  But that doesn’t mean we don’t wish for more sometimes.  I stay very light about this, since I don’t want to dwell on what I don’t have.  It’s simply thanking the universe in advance.

Eyebrow: I am grateful to be sleeping so soundly at night

Side of Eye: I am grateful for the steady growth in my business

Under the Eye: I am grateful for the opportunity to help thousands of people

Under the Nose: I am grateful for all that I am learning

Chin: I am grateful for my abundance in health, love, time and money

Collarbone: I am grateful that the exact resources I need are coming to me

Under the Arm: I am grateful for all of the prosperity in my life

Top of Head: I am grateful for all of the ease and flow in my life

After 3 nights, I began sleeping soundly through the night without waking up.  It surprised me that I also slept longer than usual.  I would normally wake up between 4:00 and 6:00 a.m.  Now I often sleep until 6:30 or so.  I find myself noticing and savoring positive experiences during the day, and looking for items to add to my EFT gratitude practice at night.  In fact, when someone is kind to me, I tell them “you’ll be on my gratitude list tonight!”

The gifts of gratitude are many.  Gratitude can counteract depression and help fight stress, the precursor of many serious diseases.  Grateful people feel more connected to others, are more likely to protect and preserve their relationships, and are measurably happier and more pleasant to be around.

People who practice gratitude are better at achieving their goals, and have been shown to offer more help and support to others.  Gratitude not only helps people feel good, but helps people do good as well.

No matter what issue we are facing, the research is very clear that we can benefit enormously by counting our blessings, instead of our burdens.  EFT can eliminate the stresses that keep us awake at night and amplify the benefits of a gratitude practice.  Either practice alone will help, but to me, this is an unbeatable combination.  If we “tap in” our gratitude list, we (and the world) are far better off.

With love and gratitude,

Carol Solomon, Ph.D. MCC

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

Tapping on gratitude for EFT


By Angie Muccillo

Here’s a simple little EFT protocol with the potential to increase EFT's effectiveness.

EFT Gratitude Protocol

Are you grateful to EFT?  I definitely am.  I am grateful for not only the many positive effects it has had on my life personally, but also the many wondrous changes and healing I see in others as a result of using EFT.  I think most people who have used EFT and achieved some degree of success with their personal and emotional issues, have felt and expressed gratitude for what EFT has done for them.  We have many documented accounts of these on the EFT website and in our clinics and offices worldwide.

In her "Gratitude Diet" article, http://www.emofree.com/articles/gratitude-diet.htm Carol Tuttle recommends we tap on everything we are grateful for in our lives, as a way of focusing on what we have or want to attract more of.  So I thought why not add EFT to that list?  In essence, if we want to attract more success with our use of EFT, let’s express our gratitude for it, like anything else.  Carol also states, “Gratitude is one of the highest states of emotion we can experience.”  If we tap on our gratitude for EFT, we are focusing on our highest thoughts of EFT and placing our attention and thoughts on what we are grateful that EFT is doing for us.  In other words we use the EFT affirmation to affirm EFT!

Tap on Gratitude for EFT

The idea is simply to use the EFT Gratitude Protocol at the end (or beginning) of a tapping session with a round or two of statements focused on our gratitude towards EFT.  I think giving thanks to EFT is a kind of pleasant and harmonious way to open or close a tapping session whether it is with a practitioner or on your own.

Whether the session has completely resolved your issues or not, inserting the Gratitude Protocol at the end, may set a positive scene for future tapping and perhaps help build a bridge to the next session.  I would also recommend using the Gratitude Protocol routinely as a daily or homework exercise or when you feel "stuck.”

EFT Gratitude Statements:

Tap the EFT points while repeating each statement:

  • I am deeply and completely grateful for EFT
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for releasing these emotions with EFT
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the ease with which EFT is helping me to release my fears, phobia’s, and traumatic memories etc
  • I am deeply and completely grateful to EFT for relieving my back/shoulder pain, etc
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the ease with which EFT is helping me to release my addictions
  • I am deeply and completely grateful I have EFT to help me release my pain and suffering
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the ease with which EFT works for me each and every time
  • I am deeply and completely grateful I have a tool to help me calm down whenever I need it
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the positive changes EFT has helped me make in my life
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the many benefits I am receiving from using EFT daily
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the positive impact EFT is having on my life and those around me
  • I am deeply and completely grateful for the peace and calm EFT has brought into my life
  • I am deeply and completely grateful to EFT for improving the quality of my life
  • I am deeply and completely grateful I have discovered this wonderful tool!

These are just a few suggestions.  I am sure there’s a lot of gratitude out there for EFT!  Let's hear it and share it.  As a general rule write your statements as though your EFT goals have already been achieved.

This protocol may also be useful when EFT “doesn’t appear to be working” or you feel “stuck” or frustrated.  Whilst there are many one minute wonders in EFT, as we know, some issues do take time to break down and in the process we may find ourselves getting frustrated, overwhelmed even unappreciative and forgetful of the progress we have actually made.  We can use this protocol to help break free from some of these barriers by switching our thinking to what we are grateful for instead.

We can use the Choices Method to install the gratitude statements.

Example set ups:

  • Even though EFT isn’t working for me on (this issue), I choose to be grateful to EFT for helping me release these emotions and for all the healing I have achieved so far.
  • Even though I don’t get the same results as XXX, I choose to be grateful I have a tool to help me calm down whenever I need it.
  • Even though I’m sick of tapping and don’t seem to be getting anywhere, I am grateful for the positive changes EFT has helped me make in my life.

What are you grateful for when it comes to EFT?  Write your list of gratitude statements and tap on them regularly.

Spreading EFT with love and gratitude!

Angie Muccillo

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

The "Gratitude for My Mistakes" method


By Bonnie Weisberg

Thanking Myself for Mistakes? Sound Simple? Think Again!

A word of caution: This treatment is sure to bring up resistance. This resistance may show up as anger, even outrage, at the mere thought that thanking yourself for things like having an affair, injuring your child, or causing a fatal car crash (all very real factors with my previous clients). In fact, thanking yourself for these mistakes may seem ludicrous. And I would like to add that this treatment plan is not a justification for misguided behaviors. It is simply a way for you to release subconscious, stagnant emotions that are keeping you at a lower emotional vibration. This process brings what is unconscious or subconscious into the conscious, where you can deal with it by applying EFT.

For Practitioners: Please use good judgment when applying this practice. In fact, Gratitude for My Mistakes is meant for clients that have met with you for a minimum of five to six sessions and have been using EFT successfully on their issues. For example, using this treatment for clients in Post Traumatic Stress is unethical. Ideally, this treatment is used for clientele whom have already done considerable personal work, but still experience pervasive, underlying depression or vague feelings of anxiety.

Before beginning this process, prepare your space by minimizing distractions. Shut off your phone, put a “do not disturb” sign on your door, and set aside time for this treatment.

I started off with something small to test out this gratitude treatment plan.

I tapped my karate chop point while stating:

Even though I missed my turn and took a detour that made me late, I choose to thank myself for that mistake.

Even though I wasn’t paying attention and made myself late for that important meeting, I choose to thank myself for that mistake.

Even though I missed my turn and made myself late again, I choose thank myself for allowing room for mistakes.

EB- Uhggg, I missed my turn.

SE- I hate when I don’t pay attention.

UE- Now I’m going to be late, great!

CH- I guess, I can forgive myself for making a mistake.

CB- What if that wrong turn saved my life?

UA- I can thank myself for making this mistake.

TH- Thank you, Self, for allowing room for mistakes.

I then moved to a situation that was extremely difficult. Sixteen years ago, my baby brother, J.J. died of cancer. I was 20 at the time, and as you can imagine, I was completely devastated and traumatized by his passing. In efforts to deal with my grief, I chose to completely distance myself from my parents.  In fact, I was downright horrible to them (or so I felt). There is far too much involved with this 16 year journey to recap here. But for the purpose of this article, I would like to recount my experience using this Gratitude for My Mistakes treatment.  I want to point out that I had done 16 years-worth of self-forgiveness, EMDR, EFT, visual guided imagery, meditation, seminars, and numerous spiritual retreats to overcome this loss. I really didn’t think that there was too much more for me to process with this. But since it was on my list, I decided to give it a shot.

I began at the karate chop point:

Even though, I was so insensitive to Mom and Dad…. (this is as far as I got. I was suddenly beside myself with guilt and refused to thank myself for my behavior.) I was bawling. I knew I had forgiven myself, but I certainly could not thank myself for not being there for my parents!

I tried again. Through my sobs, I managed to voice the following…

Even though, I was so insensitive to you, Mom and Dad, and I just can’t thank myself for this, I still love and accept myself. (3X)

I then tapped as follows:

EB: Sorry Mom….

SE: Sorry Dad…

UE: I’m sorry…

UN: I wish I could have been there for you…

CH: But I couldn’t even be there for myself…

CB: I must have needed that time…

UA: Maybe this was just meant to be…

TH: Maybe I can be open to thanking myself for this…

This brought about significant relief. In addition, I realized that, at that time, my parents really needed to reach out to proper therapeutic interventions, and not come to me for emotional support; simply an old pattern that needed redirection.

I was then able to tap as follows:

KC: Even though, I was so insensitive to you, Mom and Dad, I choose to recognize the value in my retreat.

Even though I was so insensitive to Mom and Dad, I choose to thank myself for attempting to set emotional boundaries.

Even though I didn’t know any other way, I can now thank myself for this mistake…

I then tapped as follows:

EB: I could have been more sensitive…

SE: I’m learning how to support myself and others…

UE: Maybe I can thank myself for my attempts at processing this tragedy…

UN: No I can’t…

CH: I’m willing to try to thank myself…

CB: I must have needed that time…

UA: Thank you, Self, for giving me the time and space I needed…

TH: Thank you…

Upon finishing this round of tapping, my tears were changing from regret to gratitude. I could suddenly recognize all the benefits of refusing to triangulate with my parents and leaving them with each other to work it out. I am happy to report that their marriage is stronger than ever, and, in fact, my mother is within months of graduating with her Masters in counseling! I hadn’t put this together before now!

I tapped as follows:

EB: I thank myself for following my gut at that time

SE: I’m thankful for my parents being able to find their own path…

UE: Everything is working out for our highest good…

UN: I can love and support others without enabling them…

CH: Thank you, self!

CB: Thank you, self, for this perceived mistake of being insensitive to Mom and Dad…

UA: I thank my soul for walking down this path of choices so I could learn this valuable life lesson. I can now live my life more joyously.

TH: Thank you…Thank you…Thank ME!

Using this process of Gratitude for My Mistakes immediately makes room for resolving hidden resistance to creating a bright future. I now use Gratitude for My Mistakes with almost every client I see, with profound results! Usually, after the client has experienced relief from the issues at hand (down to a three or less) I like to progress through several rounds of Gratitude for My Mistakes. Without exception, the client will go into resistance when I mention thanking themselves for past mistakes. I often hear, “I can’t thank myself for that!”  From my personal experience, I know this can bring up more material to work with in session. Gratitude for My Mistakes is a marvelous tool for digging up unconscious shame, guilt, and resentment that may still be present, no matter how much forgiveness work has been done in past sessions.

The Gratitude for My Mistakes concept is simple, yet, when applied to my toughest errors, it got tougher than I expected. The deeper I went to thank myself, the more reasons surfaced why I did not deserve any grace, let alone gratitude. This truly is groundbreaking! I can now recognize the value in trial and error. Releasing stagnant emotional memory from my past mistakes paves the way for freedom to ultimately learn from the road I have traveled. This results in being free to create new healthy choices and experiences of love at every turn. (Even a wrong turn.)

Bonnie Weisberg, EFT-Adv, Reiki Master, Blah blah blah… (who cares?)

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

Can we Use EFT to be grateful?

Dear EFT Community,

Mair Llewellyn believes that forgiveness and gratitude allow us to move on from hurting to enjoying true freedom. It also cleans up the writing on the walls of our mind. In this post Mair shares thoughts on gratitude.

EFTUniverse


By Mair Llewellyn

I firmly believe that being in a state of gratitude attracts more of the good that we are focusing on into our lives. Not only that, but it is a beautiful place to be.

Here are a few examples of ways that I have noticed that clients have expressed self acceptance, gratitude and appreciation in their own lives.

One very simple but profound way that we change from a stuck point of view is by re-framing (seeing and experiencing a person or situation in a different light). Re-framing brings into focus the opposite condition to the problem. This frequently happens as a natural part of doing EFT on our issues. Many people describe themselves or others as experiencing their cup of life as being half full or half empty. Both have the same amount in them and yet the perspective of life’s experiences from either point of view is vastly different.

For example, a client came to me for help with her extreme distress following a surgical procedure. Unfortunately, after her surgery she was left with far less functioning in her body. We used EFT to acknowledge her feelings of grief due to this loss.

During a session where she was expressing this distress of her understandable loss she spontaneously re-framed her plight. First of all, we did two or three rounds of EFT and her set up statement was “Even though I can never be the same again, I deeply and completely love and respect my understandable emotions...”

After these EFT rounds of neutralizing her anger, fear, loss and sadness she naturally changed her set up statement by adding the words in italics.

These were her words, “Even though I can never be the same again - I can be different – and I deeply and completely respect myself anyway.”

“Even though I now know I can be different, I honor my understandable emotions I have been doing the very best that I could."

Not only were her words different but her whole attitude changed to one of genuine positive future expectancy.

Always look at what you have left. Never look at what you have lost – Robert H. Schuller

When I asked another client how she coped with her husband’s M.S. (Multiple Sclerosis) and his blindness in the later stages of his life, she said that she noticed just what it was that she could appreciate. For instance, when she was able with a carers help to take a break she enjoyed nature and marveled at having the gift of her own sight. She described to me how she looked around in awe and wonder saying to herself “I can see”.

What we see depends mainly on what we look for – John Lubbock

Noticing what is OK about our life or what a partner has done or, as EFT Master, Pat Carrington recently suggests, remembering where we have been OK is truly affirming. What this process does is to direct the brain in a focused way to achieve more of the same.&

I often describe this mechanism to my client as one of putting a blueprint into the unconscious mind. When we clearly define exactly what we are wanting with our words, images and feelings this sends signals to our reticular activating system. This part of the brain seeks out and filters information in relation to what we are wanting. Later on we then notice that we are receiving more of the same.

A good way of thinking about effectively using this system is of asking and receiving.  Or, of noticing and appreciating each incremental step, however small, that takes us towards our desired path. It is similar to putting up a signpost to direct our mind so that we go where we want to be.

And finally, being in a state of thankfulness improves our peace of mind, quality of life in the present and prepares the way for future well being.

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