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EFT Tapping Therapy for Self-Esteem

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EFT Tapping Therapy for Self-EsteemSelf-Healing With EFT And Ho'oponopono


By Dr. Suzanne Lerner, EFT-ADV

I just had an amazing session with a client who has struggled with a sense of worthlessness and feeling unlovable for a good part of her life. She had been quite overweight, and has lost a good deal of weight.

However, she still finds that she is judging herself and others in terms of body size.

To start out, I asked her what was this problem with other people, why their weight issues bother her. She replied, “Well, they’re unhealthy, and besides, I don’t like admitting it, but they are disgusting!” I had her enter this feeling of disgust, and intensify it.

Then we did a series of rounds on “this feeling of disgust,” “this feeling of disgust and all it represents.” She felt this disgust as a painful feeling in her gut. Using an advanced form of Matrix Reimprinting, I had her visualize a younger part of her that was represented by this feeling in her stomach.

She tuned into a younger, 4-year-old part of herself, who was feeling unlovable and unloved. We helped her recognize, have compassion and then transform these feelings. We found it was important for her to address both the disgust she felt toward others, and the more hidden disgust she felt for herself.

As a child, she had experienced a lot of shame, blame, criticism, and confusion. As we went deeper, she discovered that these energies were not hers, but other people’s energies that she had mistakenly absorbed.

Using some shamanic approaches, we helped her release this toxic energy, as well as all the reasons she had held onto this energy for so long.

She now reported feeling calm, but she also had a strong sense of being “far off.” She described the sensation as being as if she was at one end of a long street, looking down to the other end. To help clarify, I asked whether this felt like a numb, contracted feeling or more spatially feeling “far away.”

She confirmed that she wasn't feeling constricted or numb, just “far away.”

So we performed a “Soul Retrieval” for this part of her that had felt unsafe, simply to exist. Following this process, we surrounded this new part of her with a safe and healing green and golden light energy. As we moved this energy through her entire body, helping each and every cell feeling “safe and loved,” she reported feeling very warm, safe, and snuggly.

To test our work, I asked her to try to bring up a sense of disgust for herself, to really try. She reported that she couldn’t really do that, it just didn’t feel there in the same way.

Next, I had her imagine standing in front of herself, when she was at her heaviest weight. I asked if there were some healing colors that she’d like to send and she decided to send this same warm, snuggly green and golden sparkly energy to her “heavier self.”

Using some advanced EFT techniques, we helped heal and integrate this formerly rejected part of herself. Now, as she was finally able to feel a greater sense of acceptance, love, and compassion for herself, she leaned over and whispered to her larger-bodied self, “Love is all that matters, and I Love You!”

Finally, we did some integration work, using some Ho’oponopono. I asked Sarah how she was now feeling. “Great! I feel warm, relaxed, and really at ease. This has been amazing…Thank you!”

In our next few sessions, we will help her identify and clear any other events that have contributed to this irrational feeling of being unlovable, which has been a core belief. She already is reporting a greater sense of ease and well-being, with more love and acceptance of both herself and others.

How beautiful to be able to participate in such personal transformations!

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document. Please consult physicians on all medical issues.

EFT for Handling Negative and Abusive People

Dear EFT Community,

Laurel Brookes EFT INT-1 Practitioner, is a teacher and counselor who specializes in working with Energy Workers, Prosperity issues and children shares how she helped a client use EFT to handle a negative and abusive friend and how the client could release the bond and let go so that she was free to live her life with better self-esteem.

-Stephanie M


By Laurel Brookes

Lora’s issue was with Caren, a ‘friend’ of 30 years, whom she describes as domineering, critical and verbally abusive.  They recently had another fight.  Seems that Caren was demeaning and criticizing Lora’s spirituality and creative expression. 

It left Lora feeling raped and small. 

This pattern of ‘…and therefore, I’m not good enough,’ only served to reinforce Lora’s ungroundedness and  inability to focus.  In this state of confusion, she neglects cleaning her house and organizing her life.  I might add, Lora is very insightful, intuitive and has had much conventional therapy.

Me:  Lora, in the big picture, what do you think is going on between you and Caren?

Lora:  She’s a blend of my mom and dad.  Harsh, cruel and judgmental.  They’re all crazy.

Me:  When you think of what Caren said to you yesterday, I want you to notice what’s happening in your body right now.

Lora:  My knees are locked.  My elbows are bracing.  I’m crouching. I feel fearful and vulnerable. 

SUDS:  (1-10)  is about a 20!

Tapping Through the Points:

KC:  Even though I’m being abused by Caren, which is recreating old parental abuse pattern, I accept my fear and vulnerability around this and I accept and love myself anyway…(3X)

Here I go again ...

    • I just can’t seem to avoid abusive people
    • I’m so weary from all of this suffering but like a bee to honey, I just keep going back for more
    • Abusive people seem to fill a need in me

 

I requested that Lora take the lead, tap through the points and talk about the needs abusive people fulfill.

  • I’m strong enough to take it!
  • Bring it on
  • I need to keep my mom and dad alive through Caren
  • Fighting with Caren is like standing up to my crazy parents, finally
  • I look normal compared to those crazy people
  • I feel sane compared to those crazy people 
  • I won the Olympic gold for pain & suffering
  • And I’m proud of it *I need to preserve the crime scene.  
  • I need others to know that I was abused.
  • If I don’t let them know, my abuse will be for naught. 

 

We tapped on this for several rounds.  Previously, Lora has done much work with her abusive past.

  • I honor my resistance to letting this go.  
  • I honor the part of me that doesn’t believe I can let this go?  15%
  • I love you from darkness to light, 15%
  • You have been my survival
  • I would probably have died without you
  • You have done a great job of protecting me
  • But now you are holding me back
  • And it’s time—we both need to be free
  • And I am holding you back so that you can hold me back
  • I honor you anyway
  • I’m safe now
  • You are welcome to hang-out as long as you need to
  • I ask that you transmute into the light at a pace that Works for both of us.
  • I’m comfortable knowing that you’re there
  • And I’m willing to let you go
  • I don’t need to push you down anymore

Me:  How true does that feel?

Lora:  100%

Me:  Even though my identity has been based upon enduring pain & suffering, I honor and accept all of my resistance  around this…and I am willing to create a new identity that I can grow into—one that supports me with flow, grace and ease.  (3X)  

We explored identity issues:

  • I have based my identity upon pain and suffering
  • How I count is by suffering
  • I only count if I’m in pain and suffering
  • It is cheating to think of freeing myself from pain and suffering
  • How can I be free from pain and suffering when other people in the world are suffering?  
  • I have compassion for others.  If they’re suffering I need to suffer too.
  • I learned in my family that the only way to count is to suffer.
  • It’s impossible for me to leave my family.  “Who do you think you are?” I can hear my parents saying to me
  • I was born & raised suffering, “you think you’re better than us?”  
  • What if there’s a way to free myself and my family from suffering?
  • What if I could be the role-model for well-being and gift my family new healthy pattern?
  • What if I could find a sliver of light inside that would make it possible.
  • No, I’m hopeless, there’s no sliver of light.
  • But, just maybe there is.
  • What if I could do more good in the world by expressing my light and health, rather than holding and expressing my darkness? 

 

SUDS check:  it’s down to a 1 now!

Lora:  My entire body is relaxed.  Knees are open.  Threat is gone.

Me:  I invite you to return to your last conversation with Caren. Hear what she is saying to you.  Notice your reaction.   

Lora:  It is all irrelevant.  The charge is gone.  

Healthy New Identity:  

Me:  What would a healthy-identity look like for you?  

Lora:  Good boundaries, Self-Confidence, Free to pursue my creativity, and I would thrive, rather than just survive.   

We wrapped up the session by individually tapping on the components of Lora’s healthy identity.    

Homework: 

As Lora loves expressing through art, I asked if she would be willing to draw a picture of what her ‘Healthy New Identity’ would look like.  She readily agreed. 

Update from Lora:

I wasn’t living my life.  I was like a ghost walking through my life. I’m experiencing a radical shift of being in the world rather than floating above it….And, I can’t stop cleaning!  Can we do EFT for that? 

(Chuckle)   

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

Gemma and the Blessing

Dear Readers,

This session by James Robinson, shows how his client’s fear of rejection is related to issues around being separated from her mother at birth. James works with EFT-based Matrix Reimprinting to access the preconscious memory. Visit James' website. View an introductory video about Matrix Reimprinting here.

-David MacKay


by James Robinson

Gemma is a clothes shop owner and had recently employed a new shop assistant called John. Their working relationship was great and they really got on well. Gemma’s feelings for John soon went beyond friendship, but Gemma was finding it really hard to tell him how she was feeling because she was very scared of being rejected. Gemma came to me with the hope of being able to overcome this fear of rejection. We started off with the Matrix Recall Technique, to try and uncover where this fear of rejection had come from. 

After a few rounds of tapping on one single point while quietly repeating "This fear of rejection" Gemma found herself back at her birth, when she had been separated from her mother and taken into intensive care. It transpired that her mother had told her that she had been born with complications and had been taken away immediately after birth and put into intensive care for a day and a half before even being held by her mother. 

I asked Gemma if she was happy for me to tap on her, then proceeded to guide her into Matrix Reimprinting, back to the moment of birth. I told her to take her time and let me know when she had a good clear vision of her newborn self, her mother and the hospital surroundings. 

As soon as she accessed this vision she started to hyperventilate and cry hysterically. I encouraged her to tap on her ECHO (Energy Consciousness Hologram), and continued to tap on her at a gentle pace. After a few minutes her breathing and extreme sobbing started to dwindle.

I encouraged Gemma to remain dissociated from her ECHO (her newborn self) to save her from being retraumatised. I asked Gemma if she would like to pick up her ECHO and give her a huge hug, to tell her how much she loved her and then to explain who she was and that she had come to help her feel better about the situation. Once again Gemma started to hyperventilate and cry hysterically, and I continued to tap on her at the same steady pace, reminding her to try and remain dissociated. During this time I encouraged Gemma to keep tapping on her ECHO. 

I asked Gemma to ask her ECHO how she was feeling. She replied "Alone and scared." We did some rounds of tapping on "Even though you feel alone and scared, you’re still a beautiful little girl." When the intensity of this feeling had reduced, I suggested that Gemma told her ECHO that she didn’t need to feel alone anymore because Gemma was there with her. I checked if this resonated with Gemma.

When Gemma had conversed with her ECHO, I got her to check how her ECHO was now feeling. She felt a lot better and safer. I then asked Gemma to reassure her ECHO that she was safe and loved. To enable this to happen we were going to grant her some wishes, and with these wishes she could have absolutely anything, she could go absolutely anywhere, do literally anything with anyone. "What does your newborn self wish for?" I asked Gemma. "She wants to be held by her mother," Gemma replied. I encouraged Gemma to pass her ECHO to her mother and let her mum give her a huge hug and tell her how much she loved her. 

I asked Gemma to check again how her ECHO was feeling. She told me that she felt loved and wanted. I asked if little Gemma might want to leave the hospital and go somewhere else. She wanted to go to the beach with Gemma and her mother. I reminded Gemma to give her loads of love and hugs on the way! I also encouraged her to take her time and enjoy the beautiful beach and to let me know when they were ready to take the next step. During this whole process tears where constantly flowing from Gemma’s eyes. 

When Gemma indicated that they were ready to take the next step I asked her to ask her ECHO what wish she would like to be granted next. She replied that she wanted her dad and her brother to come to the beach with them. This was carried out with lots of hugs and love from everyone. When I next checked how Gemma’s ECHO was feeling, she replied "Really happy, loved and protected!"

Since it was all going smoothly for Gemma and her ECHO I let her know that I was going to leave them all hugging on the beach, that they should take their time and have fun and that when they had reached a happy plateau to let me know. I continued to tap on Gemma the whole time.

Again tears continued to steadily flow from Gemma’s eyes but unsettled breathing patterns had been replaced by smiles creeping through more and more as her experience unfolded. I left her without interruption for quite a while until she indicated to me that she was ready for the next step. 

I got Gemma to check how her ECHO was feeling. She let me know that she felt completely at peace, really loved, happy and complete. I then guided her to bring her focus and all the lovely feelings into her mind and let the feelings and memories seep into every part of her head. I then encouraged Gemma to take the beautiful new picture into her heart. Finally, the new picture was radiated from her heart in all directions like a huge ball of light surrounding her whole body and the space around her. 

When Gemma had finished and brought her consciousness back to the present moment, I got her to check the original image. When I asked her to revisit the initial memory she said all that was there now was the family on the beach holding her, a sense of peace and a feeling of being loved and protected. 

Gemma was keen to share with me what had happened on the beach. She told me how the whole family had done a shamanic blessing ceremony on her young ECHO using the four elements. They blessed her with smoke from a fire they had prepared, by gently wafting it over her as they held her. They then cleansed her with water from the ocean that they had cupped in their hands and dripped over her forehead. They blessed her with the earth by gently laying her on the sand below. And finally they blessed her with the air by holding her carefully high up in the sky above them. 

Gemma told me that she had done a lot of healing work on herself but had never experienced anything like that before. When we parted company she was feeling happy and confident about revealing her feelings to John. 

by James Robinson

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document. Please consult physicians on all medical issues.

Using EFT to Understand How Body Image, Weight and Self-Love Connect

Dear EFT Community,

Sandy Zeldes an EFT INT-1 Practitioner specialising in weight issues shares how when you are "stuck" with a negative belief process or trauma, what keeps it so locked in place is your lack of acceptance and love. When you shine the light of love and kindness through acceptance on an issue, it is like "the sun burning off the clouds."

-Stephanie M


By Sandy Zeldes, EFT INT-1

What do we do when we have been through enough trauma in childhood and have created a need for a coping mechanism like food to deal with all the unresolved feelings and trauma?

What is one of the biggest common denominators for so many of us?

We think somehow we must have deserved to be treated the way we were treated, it just feels so well, personal. We end up hating ourselves and usually denying our feelings or "stuffing them" as a coping mechanism. It works pretty well and helps us to survive as children but of course as we get older it starts to be pretty tough to feel good when we don't have access to our feelings. It can be the cause of so much stress, pain and suffering.

The coping strategy that helped us survive becomes a thick heavy coat we wear in summer.

I see this in terms of emotional eating and using food to cope with this kind of suffering and really all feelings that feel overwhelming, even joy eventually. In our society we also often develop a lot of beliefs about our bodies that can help to perpetuate the problem as well. This lack of self worth, coupled with the societal pressures and beliefs often overlap.

Example of the issue at work and how to release it:

I recently worked with a woman who shared with me her earlier childhood traumas having to take care of her very dysfunctional mother at the early age of 5-years-old. As a child she had taken this on as something wrong with her and felt very bad about herself that she couldn't do all that was required of her. In her current life she is using food very obsessively binge eating and has an expresses a lot of self-loathing.

Of course, how could a 5-year-old do all the laundry, cooking and shopping?

We know this in our adult minds, intellectually, but she was still carrying this fear, trauma and low self-worth it seemed once we began tapping.

The beauty of EFT is in the reversal statement.... "I love and accept myself."

Why is that so important? Why do we need to say it? Why does it help to "un-reverse" us?

Because I think so often when we are "stuck" with a negative belief process or trauma, what keeps it so locked in place is our lack of acceptance and love. When we shine the light of love and kindness through acceptance on an issue, it is like the sun burning off the clouds.

We realize it is not our fault. We can look at it and move on.

What we resist persists... with EFT, we stop resisting and therefore begin to release stuck emotional experiences.

We tapped on:

  • "Even though I feel worthless and like I have to always take care of everyone else first... what if I could love and accept myself now?"
  • "I have to take care of everyone else first"
  • "I am worthless if I'm caring for others"
  • "I come last"
  • "My worth is in what I can do for others"
  • "Nobody cares what I need, and neither do I"
  • "I had to do everything for mom"
  • "I can't love myself or feel worthy"

 

 

Then we added in a few rounds of tapping using the "what if" statement.

  • "What if I could?"
  • "What if I am?"
  • "What if I am worthy just because I exist"
  • "What if it is not my fault?"
  • "What if I was just a little girl and shouldn't have had to do all that for adults..."
  • "What if I am worthy now"

 

We did several rounds of this using the "what if" statement and what was under the worthlessness was all this fear- the constant fear she felt in her childhood.

  • "Even though I've always been scared from the time I was 5 and I had to take care of mom... what if I could love and accept myself now?"
  • "I've always been scared"
  • "I've lived in fear"
  • "I've been living in fear for forever now"
  • "I'm used to this fear"
  • "All this fear"
  • "I have been living in fear all my life"
  • After several rounds we added the choice statement:
  • "What if I could love myself now"
  • "Even though I'm scared, what if I could love myself"
  • "What if I could love and accept myself now..." etc

 

By the end of several rounds of tapping and peeling back the layers, she felt much less self loathing. It was a great relief to her. The self loathing is often a huge thorn in our sides that perpetuates binge eating. When we pull it out, I often see binges subside.

Using love and acceptance is absolutely key to healing trauma and food and body issues. I can't imagine how we would ever heal without it. Combined with tapping on energy centers such as meridian points is a way to super charge the process.

Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to get our Free EFT Get Started Package or our EFT Books and EFT Trainings for a more complete understanding. For more, read our EFT Info and Disclaimer Document.

Two EFT Sessions Heal Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual Issues

Dear Readers,

Eloisa Ramos achieved a tremendous amount in just two EFT sessions by Chasing the Pain, clearing specific events and artful reframes. This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and visit her website.

-David MacKay


by Eloisa Ramos, EFT-Cert-II

I had an opportunity to work with a client, we will call her Amy.  She had various issues she wanted to address (a relationship conflict, lack of self confidence and self trust: nerve pain and a cold).  She booked two sessions of 1 1/2 hours each.  This gives a good example of how much can be accomplished in just 3 hours of EFT. 

Amy is 54 years old.  Her issues were:

1. Physical—Constant Nerve pain (at least every ½ hr) for the past 6 weeks, and feeling unwell with cold symptoms for the past 1-2 weeks.

2. Emotional—Had a fight 2 weeks ago with a good friend whom she has known and shared many aspects of life with for the past 20 yrs.  The incident took place when they were traveling back home and Amy was overcome with fear. She told her friend she could not go with her if her friend drove, due to this fear.  Her friend is 70 years old and had been unwell beginning 6 months prior with high blood pressure and was diagnosed with renal artery stenosis, which can cause high blood pressure.  The medication she was on had caused periods of very low pressure and caused fainting.  Amy said, “I felt my fear was valid, but she saw it as a total lack of respect for her and said she was not an invalid.  I also think it was a lack of respect for her, but my fear was greater.  Then she became very angry and HURT.  We are still trying to resolve this issue.”

3. Mental—“I never had much confidence in myself and even though others say I am good at my work, I still feel as I can’t be trusted.  Even after 30yrs in the profession.  I find it difficult to stand up for myself and am now only seeing this issue and would like to resolve it.”

4. Spiritual—“I still feel lost, although I feel as though I have a lot of wisdom to impart.  I know I can be much more than I presently am.”

First Session Work by Phone:

Nerve Pain:  we tapped directly on the nerve pain she was feeling at the moment in her back and left side. SUDS 7.

“Even though I have this cold nerve pain on the back and left side, I deeply and completely accept myself.” Pain shifted to the right side.  SUDS 2-3.

“Even though I have this right side muscle pain, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 1.  Pain shifted to the left arm pit—SUDS 7.

We tapped in a similar fashion and pain shifted to the right side, SUDS 3-4.  Because the pain shifts on her even without the tapping, I decided to try to go back to see what may have brought it on instead of continuing with the direct tapping.

I took Amy back to before the nerve pain started.  What was going on?  She said they were moving. She felt overwhelmed physically and didn’t know how to cope.  She felt “that I would fail and something is going to go terribly wrong, fearing that it’s not going to work out, that my decisions are not logical and will not turn out right.”

Table Top or Core Issue—Lack of Self-Confidence

Event 1: Using the Tell the Story Technique we targeted a childhood school event where a nun was going desk to desk asking times table questions.  She got hit for not coming up with the right answer. 

First emotion in the event was fear and nervousness. SUDS at a 6, tapped 2 rounds on the fear that she would not know the answer:

“Even though I am afraid I won’t know the answer, I’m a terrific kid.” SUDS 3.

“Even though I’m afraid it is not going to work out, I am a terrific kid.” SUDS 0. 

Had her repeat the story from beginning and stop where there was intensity. 

Second emotion in the story--anger.  SUDS 7. 

2 Rounds of tapping on

“Even though I feel angry that she hit me, I’m still a terrific kid.”  SUDS 3

“Even though I still feel angry that she hit me, I’m still a terrific kid.”  SUDS 0.

Had her retell story and feel if there was still anger there.

TESTING:  Had her revisit event in her mind and exaggerate what happened to see if any intensity was left.  None. Amy said the event just seemed ridiculous now.

Event 2:  During previous tapping, I introduced a reminder phrase that said “there is something wrong with me”.  This brought up the second event we tapped on:  Age 7 putting on a show for mother’s day.  She stood at the front of the whole audience and was so nervous, she wet herself.

Using the Minimizing PainTechnique we tapped on nervousness. SUDS 10.

Round 1: “Even though, I feel nervous, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS 7.

Round 2: “Even though I am still nervous, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS 3.

Using the Tell the Story Technique we tapped on nervousness: SUDS 7

Round 1:  Even though I’m so nervous, I feel numb all over, I’m still a terrific kid.” SUDS 3.

Round 2: “Even though, I wet myself, and judged myself as having something wrong with me, I am a terrific kid.”

In the reminder phrases, I introduced the reframe that “there is probably not one person alive that did not wet themselves at some inopportune time when they were kids—that doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with them.”  She agreed.  SUDS 0.

Testing:  Had her retell the story again from beginning to end and exaggerate everything.  She reported that it “was a funny incident”.

I asked whether there were other events where she thought or felt things were going to go wrong or where she thought or felt there was something wrong with her.

Event 3:  High school swimming event, she was the captain of the team and she didn’t do something and the event “fell apart” and she was responsible for it.

Used Tell the Story Technique and did 2 rounds on the physical sensation in her throat—a sick feeling—when she got to the “responsible for it” part.  SUDS 8

Round 1: “Even though, I feel this sick feeling in my throat, I didn’t do what I was supposed to, I deeply and completely accept myself, anyway.”  SUDS 4

Round 2: “Even though, I still feel this sick feeling in my throat, it was my fault, I deeply and completely accept myself”.  SUDS 0.

Had her retell story and found no more intensity.  Testing: had her vividly imagine the event and no intensity.

Second Session Done by Phone

Amy reported that during her week after the first session she “was more confident at work, was better with decision making and was not caring so much what others thought and standing up for herself”.

I took her back to before the nerve pain started again. She said, “A lot of things going on, quite intense…we were moving house… friend couldn’t do physical work…I didn’t think I could cope with it. It was overwhelming. I was pushing myself too much:  I stopped her to tap on these feelings.  SUDS 6-7, tightness in her throat.

Round 1: “Even though I feel this tightness in my throat, I’m feeling overwhelmed, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS went to a 4.

Round 2: “Even though I still feel tightness in my throat, I’m pushing myself too much, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS went to 0.  Tightness moved to stomach, SUDS 4.

Round 3: “Even though I feel this tightness in my stomach, I can’t cope, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS went to 0.

Using the Tell the Story Technique we tapped on a specific scene when they were moving house:

Event 1:  The movers were bringing down the furniture and needed to be told where to put things and her friend could not decide quickly enough where to put the furniture and got very upset, and looked like she was having a nervous breakdown.  Amy found this very hard.  Felt physically sick in her throat. SUDS 10.

Round 1: “Even though this is very hard for me to see my friend like this, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 7 on sickness in her throat.

Round 2: “Even though I want to help my friend but I don’t know how, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS 4 on throat.

Round 3: “Even though I feel stuck, unable to help my friend and unable to help the movers get their instructions, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

I introduced a reframe in the reminder phrases around how the situation was difficult for everyone, for her friend because she couldn’t decide, for Amy because her friend was in charge and she couldn’t overstep her authority and for the movers because they did not know where to put things.  She responded to this well, commenting, “Things could have been fixed later-they didn’t need to be in the exact right place.” SUDS 0.

I had Amy retell the story and stop again if there was intensity.  None.

Testing:  Vividly imagine the scene and see if any intensity is left.  None, but this lead her into the continuation on the story.  4 days later, Amy had to take her friend to the hospital.

Event 2: Using Tell the Story Technique we tapped on tightness in her throat. SUDS 8.

Round 1: “Even though I feel so scarred that she might have a stroke, and I feel this tightness in my throat, I deeply and completely accept myself.” The SUDS came down to a 6 for the tightness in the throat, but it was about a different aspect—fear in the hospital.

Round 2: “Even though I still feel the tightness in my throat, I am betraying my friend by worrying about what the staff is going to say” (This was the hospital where she worked at).  SUDS on the tightness in her throat went to 4.

Round 3: “Even though all I’m thinking this is about me, that people are going to think badly of me, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 2.

Round 4: “Even though I am afraid my family is going to find out, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 0.

I had her retell the story and since there was no intensity left I asked her about her family and the fear that they would “find out”.  She explained that it was a “family trait” to protect your reputation by “looking good”.  I asked if there was a situation where she had let her family down.

Event 3: This took her to when she was 21 years old and had a baby girl out of wedlock.  She didn’t have a specific scene, so we just tapped on the emotions around it.  Just having her tune in to her feelings around the issue, we tapped on

First Aspect: Embarrassment, SUDS 8.

Round 1: “Even though I feel embarrassed that I had a baby out of wedlock, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS 6.

Round 2: “Even though I am an embarrassment to my family, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 3.

Round 3: “Even though I was young and inexperienced and got myself pregnant and my family was embarrassed, I deeply and completely accept myself.  SUDS 0

I did some reframing around her being young and inexperienced to clear any guilt.

Second Aspect: Anger, SUDS 4.

Round 1: “Even though I feel angry at Mom, I didn’t have no support, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 2.

Round 2: “Even though I feel angry that I had no support, I recognize that Mom was probably having a difficult time handling this situation herself, and I deeply and completely accept myself.”

In the reminder phrases I reframed that everyone was doing the best they could.  That Mom was embarrassed because of her own programming that she learned that said that this was embarrassing and had nothing to do with her or the baby.  That no one can ever do wrong by bringing a beautiful baby into the world.  SUDS 0.

I had her vividly image this event and she said it was fine.

I took her back to the moving house time and reviewed what was left there. Everything was OK there, but this moved her forward in time.  Two weeks before our session (around the time that her cold started) to the unresolved issue with her friend, Anna.

Event 4: Using the Tell the Story Technique we tapped on worry, SUDS 8.

Round 1: “Even though, I feel so worried that Anna is driving in her condition, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 4.

Round 2: “Even though I am still worried that my friend is driving, and she has a mind of her own, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS  8.  New aspect showing up.

She said, “I just can’t let Anna drive.  I’ve got to drive”.  I asked why, and she said, “This great fear comes over me thinking of having to drive through the city”.

New aspect: fear of driving in the city. 

Round 3: “Even though I am afraid of driving in the city, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 6.

Round 4: “Even though I would feel safer driving because I would feel more in control and I wasn’t able to communicate how I was feeling to Anna and she misinterpreted what I said and did, I deeply and completely accept myself, and I accept Anna too.”  SUDS 4. Reframing around how there was miscommunication.

Round 5: “Even though Anna thought I was being disrespectful to her for not wanting her to drive, it was not about Anna at all, it was this fear that came over me, and I deeply and completely accept myself.”  Reframing around the real issue, her fear.

During the reminder phrases I reframed further by telling her that “She had not disrespected her friend, it was a miscommunication because this fear had taken her over.”  SUDS 0.

I asked her to reevaluate her feelings toward her friend over this incident.  She felt at peace.

Moved to the new aspect: fear of driving in big cities:  SUDS 7.

Round 1: “Even though there are so many possibilities of accidents happening and it is unpredictable, I deeply and completely accept myself.” SUDS 4-3.

Round 2: “Even though I don’t seem to be in control, there is so much traffic, I deeply and completely accept myself.”  SUDS 2.

(Time was running out so, I rushed through the rest a bit)

I had her picture herself driving in traffic and she told me “those big trucks stay besides you…”

Round 3: “Even though those big trucks are scary and they stay beside you, I ….”  SUDS 2.

Round 4: “Even though those trucks can’t see you and they drive so fast, I ….”

She said, “There are traffic accidents because of the big trucks in tunnels.”  I asked her if she had seen such an accident.  She said, “I saw a big one on the news.”

Event 5: Picture of the accident in the news:

Round 1: “Even though I saw the scary accident with the big truck, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

Round 2: “Even though I concluded that it had to be the trucks fault that caused the accident, I deeply and completely accept myself.”

In the reminder phrases I said, “the news didn’t say who caused the accident, and I just assumed it was the truck” I also reframed the event stating that statistics show that truck drivers are some of the most experienced drivers on the road because they drive so much.  I also said that it could have been a car that the truck was trying to avoid in that tunnel that caused the accident.  She was laughing.  She said she was fine.

I had her picture herself driving with two trucks on either side.  She said she felt fine.

by Eloisa Ramos, EFT-Cert-II


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