Using EFT With a Spiritual Seeker
Dear EFT Community,
By Fraeda Scholz
This article is about using EFT creatively to assist spiritual shifts in a series of five phone sessions I facilitated with a fellow EFT practitioner, we will call her “Lisa”. Lisa and I met in 2007 and have traded EFT sessions fairly consistently since that time.
The idea for this series of five sessions came from Lisa who wanted to use EFT to help her remove the blocks to “Love's Presence” inside her as part of her spiritual work, specifically related to a spiritual book and path she has been on for 3 years.
Here are some of the elements present that I believe made this series of sessions successful:
Firstly, Lisa and I have developed a strong trust and rapport, largely within the EFT process, over a significant amount of time. We also both deeply know and trust EFT.
Secondly, Lisa and I share the belief that every human being ultimately has connection to the Truth of their Being, to who they really Are (not to be confused with intellectual or factual truth).
EFT is simply a tool to assist the natural intelligence of a person's system to remove the blocks, patterns and false mind structures layer by layer that hinder their connection to that Truth.
Thirdly, while Lisa explained to me some of the focus and principles of her spiritual path I am not a follower of it, and didn't need to be. As long as the practitioner is willing to “meet the person where they are,” not imposing their personal beliefs on the client, much is possible. As it has been said, “Through you rather than by you.”
Below are the essential details of the 5th phone session which lasted about 80 minutes.
At the beginning of the session Lisa presented two main issues:
Issue 1: A family situation, ongoing for a long time, which will impact her life in a big way. She has tapped on this issue on her own as it has unfolded since '06. The day before the session she met with some family members on a conference call and many feelings, thoughts and judgments were stirred up in her and she quickly became “lost in them.” Lisa's two main beliefs/judgments of herself that came out of the family situation were that she was both a “guilty perpetrator and sinner” and an “innocent victim of blame contaminated by family circumstances.” Her SUDS levels on these feelings were 5-8.
Issue 2: Lisa saw her reactiveness to the family issue as, “a way that my ego mind caught me up in an old familiar web of anguish and anxiety. I became upset because my ego mind wanted to play with the event in order to drag me back into the seductive drama of my life story and keep me distracted from my spiritual connection to Love's Presence within myself.”
For my part I kept myself present and non-judgmental as she told me her issues and feelings. I knew that once the emotional charge was lowered using EFT and once we tapped into the conflicting aspects a resolution was very possible that would transcend her current feelings and beliefs in a way we could not sift through logically.
In addition I knew it would not help for me to insert my ideas about how she “should” feel or what she “should” do about the situation, nor did I try to decide if I believed her ego was reacting to the family issue in order to “keep her from the Love of God” or not.
My philosophical beliefs are not needed here.
As we tap, Lisa's system seems to naturally integrate itself as the emotional stress leaves her system, in a way that goes beyond theory, dogma or belief. This is because EFT brings out the natural intelligence of her system, as long as there is no forcing or unneeded manipulation of the process on my part. I do admit there is some alchemy here around when to give my perspective and see if its helpful, or to just keep my mouth shut and let the process bring out of her what is needed. Trust the process. If you have good intentions and respect for the client you'll be fine.
Although the setup phrases we used may sound extreme, Lisa chose these to enhance the depth of emotion making the clearing process deeper and more complete. In this session we used the entire basic EFT recipe, including the 9-gamut sequence.
Set up phrases for round 1 of tapping:
Even though I am a guilty, complicit, perpetrator sinner and a victim contaminated by the circumstances of my family, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I am afraid that if I don't stay on top of my ego, I am going to become a wreck and succumb to this seductive story it is telling me, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
After round 1 of tapping, Lisa's SUDS went down several points. She then reported two fearful beliefs that had come to her while we were tapping:
Belief 1: “I need to keep my guilt about the family situation to hide how bad I am from others and to keep me from doing monstrous things. Guilt will make me appear good even though I'm bad.”
Belief 2: “It is so hard to go against the tide of collective egoic human consciousness that has been going on for thousands of years. I feel the weight of the consciousness of the people around me and of history that keeps reinforcing that I Am this story in my egoic mind thoughts.”
As we discussed these 2 beliefs Lisa began to connect with a deep sadness (SUDS 8) about how, “My ego has tricked me into keeping out the Love from Divine Source.”
Set up phrases for rounds 2 and 3 of tapping:
Even though I still have some of this story that I am a guilty complicit perpetrating sinner and a victim contaminated by circumstances, and it's sad, I deeply...
Even though I feel the need to keep my guilt in order to hide how bad I am and to keep myself from doing monstrous things, I deeply...
Even though it is so hard to go against the tide of collective egoic human consciousness and I feel sad, I deeply...
Lisa's SUDS levels went down further and then she expressed a newly arising feeling of, “deep compassion for all people who are living in suffering, especially mental suffering, because of their blocks to Love.” I saw this as a good sign because she was moving from being overwhelmed by her personal situation, to a larger perspective. I think it also shows a softening towards herself, knowing her emotional suffering is part of the human condition and not so much something wrong with her.
As we further discussed her sadness and compassion for all those who are suffering a big shift started happening. Lisa reported a, “flood of feelings of Love and gratitude inside.” All her SUDS were now down to 2's and 3's, and some were down to 0.
Set up phrases for round 4 of tapping:
Even though I still have some of this sadness that I was seduced by the story and that kept me from the Love from Source, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.
Even though it still feels a little hard to go against the tide of collective egoic human consciousness, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I still have a little need to hang on to this guilt, in order to appear good, I deeply and completely love and forgive myself.
At this point, Lisa shifted more and reported that, “I am feeling the Love pouring in from inside myself.” She then created affirmations that connected to her feelings and to concepts she has learned from her spiritual teachings. For round 5 we tapped on these affirmations, which Lisa created herself.
Round 5 alternating points, we tapped on these affirmations:
I can stay on top of this with the help from Holy Spirit.
I let go of this struggle with the transformative power of the Holy Spirit beside me.
I let go of guilt and remember the innocence of all my brothers. We are invulnerable.
Nothing can keep the power of the Love from Source away, not even my egoic self.
During this tapping round Lisa began to weep out of, “overwhelming gratitude, awe and humility.”
She then said she felt guided to keep the tapping words sparse for the next round with one short phrase which she again created.
Final round of the session:
This awe, this Love, this gratitude.
Lisa and I then sat together (although 500 miles apart) in silence for a little while, being present with the moment. We then checked her SUDS levels, which had ranged from 5 to 8, all were now at a 0. The original judgments and beliefs about her family felt, “totally irrelevant and absurd to me now. Simply silly egoic thoughts, signifying nothing, next to the powerful feeling of connection to Source.”
After this session Lisa wrote the following testimonial about her experience:
“I felt a profound and dramatic shift into feeling/being that divine Love that I was longing for. I shifted over into deep and global mind states of surrender, peace and communion with Loving Presence, in the eternal 'Now' moment. This shift was deeper and felt truer than my past experiences with Divine Presence. Fear dissolved.
Worry vanished. I came to recognize the old familiar, habitual and negative egoic mind chatter as just flimsily that--nothing more than mind chatter, instead of identifying with or getting lost in it. I now have confidence that I can return to those places, with the focus of EFT.
There is less fear, less resistance and more ease in clearing the seeming egoic obstacles that arise in my mind as I move forward in life day to day. I firmly believe that all disease begins in the mind, and that is where the true healing lies--in the mind.”
I would like to emphasize these sessions were not done on a whim, nor did we merely tap a few light rounds and get to this “end result.” At times in these five sessions Lisa felt some very intense, frightening or dark feelings and in many prior EFT sessions with me. Lisa was willing to look at these difficult places and acknowledge them, to herself and to me, sometimes with overwhelming shame and fear, in order to clear and heal them.
For myself as a result of the use of EFT and other Energy Psychology techniques I often feel happy for “no reason.”
I often feel surrounded and pervaded by a subtle feeling of love and connection. This did not happen all at once but it did happen relatively quickly once I really set my mind to using these techniques combined with other teachings and learning. EFT is an invaluable and very practical, “where the rubber meets the road,” kind of tool on my personal spiritual path as well, which I am still on.
For serious students of EFT, I recommend exploring the reaches of human consciousness, using EFT to release emotional as well as spiritual blocks, and to open to who and what you are in the deepest sense of being using the terminology, inspiration and teachings that resonate with you. Inner peace and liberation is really where it's at in my opinion and EFT is a profound tool for that journey.
Last Updated: Saturday, 23 August 2014 23:45
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Processing Enneagram Insights with EFT
By Alina Frank
The Enneagram has been called the spiritual seeker's Myers Briggs, and is used by millions of people around the world as a psychological tool, a vehicle for mapping the ego, and a path for spiritual growth. The word "Enneagram" is derived from the Greek words ennea (nine) and grammos (something written or drawn) and refers to the symbol of a nine-pointed diagram drawn within a circle. It has elements of Kabbalah, Sufism, Buddhism, Christianity, Taoism, and ancient Babylonian and Egyptian principles. The Iliad and the Odyssey are even purported to revolve around the 9 types or 9 distinct spiritual journeys of man.
The basic personality typing of the Enneagram has been used in corporations such as AT&T, Sony, Toyota and Boeing, where they've applied it's principles to assist with managing and hiring employees, for conflict resolution, and much more.
Most Enneagram authorities believe in nature over nurture as the factor in determining which numerical type you live your life by. This "type" becomes our default personality, similar to the operating system in our computers. This operating system filters how we perceive the world, how we behave, what we are motivated by, how we pursue happiness, and what we avoid to make us feel secure in the world. Some say that it is the way in which you learned to cope as a child with your separation from God.
By increasing our self-awareness through the study of the Enneagram, we not only discover what box we already are living in, but we then are presented with an opportunity to dismantle that box. When we know what our filters are, we are free to become more objective about what we are experiencing in any one moment in our lives. The goal is not to transcend the ego but to actively engage it in order to change. It's important to note that we all carry the nine types within us and through self-actualization we become more balanced. We have the capacity to achieve the greatest potential for our individual type. There is no hierarchy in the numbers, meaning that no one type is better than another, although being human, our minds will tend to judge them as such. Although the Enneagram is a very accurate system of typography, there are many variables, including wings (sub-dominate types), instincts, and individual differences that make the Enneagram the most dynamic of all typology methods.
Insights we gain by studying this system can be processed effectively and transformed beautifully with the use of EFT. Even if you are born into the world (as the Enneagram authorities presuppose) with a dominant nature, I find that life experiences buttress your unique perceptual reality. An example would be a person who is a Type 1, who was born into an alcoholic family, where being perfect became a coping mechanism. Another might be a Type 8 person who attracts one emotionally unavailable lover after another.
In my work with clients, I never assess anyone's type for them, as it is much more empowering to have them discover for themselves what dominant type they are. For this, I recommend the RHETI test that is available for free online on various sites. (1)
Here are some of the labels used for each of the types, followed by some suggested EFT set-up phrases to assist each one:
Type #1: Perfectionist/Reformer/Critic
Even though I struggle to consistently improve myself and find it challenging to relax, I deeply and profoundly accept the way I am right now.
Even though I feel all this internal pressure and have to earn my rewards, I choose to pay closer attention to my wants and passions.
Even though I feel all this pain because the world isn't perfect, I choose to begin accepting that everyone has a unique path and their own perspectives which add diversity and richness to the world.
Type #2: Giver/Cheerleader/Helper
Even though I am afraid to say no to others, I choose to be more selective and know that I can tend to myself first without losing their love.
Even though I feel ashamed and guilty that I have needs and wants of my own, I choose to practice asking for what I desire.
Even though I feel others owe me for how much I give, I choose to give in more limited ways and accept that giving and receiving occur in a natural balance.
Type #3: Performer/Achiever/Winner
Even though I am scared of failure, I choose to focus on all my past mistakes that have led to great understanding and lessons learned.
Even though I believe that if I work hard and charge impulsively ahead, I can resolve anything, sometimes it's best to let go, be patient, and wait for the Universe to show me the best way.
Even though I feel I have to "over-do" in areas of my life, I love and accept myself and others do too, not for what I do, but for just "being" me.
Type #4: Romantic/Depth Seeker/Individualist
Even though I feel rejected and abandoned when I don't receive enough attention, sometimes I can misinterpret actions by others.
Even though I get bored with mundane day-to-day living, I choose to see the ordinary as magical and focus my attention on being and appreciate living in the present moment.
Even though I suffer so much when things go wrong, I choose to practice the art of being neutral - sometimes bad situations lead to good outcomes.
Type #5: Observer/Thinker/Investigator
Even though it has served me to be in control and logical, I choose to see that the illogical/irrational side of life has its place as well.
Even though sometimes I'm afraid of my emotions and my body, I choose to pay attention to their wisdom and can actually begin to feel supported by it.
Even though I am afraid to be vulnerable in relationships, I choose to cultivate love and begin by loving and accepting myself.
Type #6: Loyalist/Questioner/Guardian
Even though I get anxious and I need to feel safe and secure, I deeply and profoundly love and accept myself.
Even though I am scared to make the wrong decision, I choose to jump off the cliff sometimes and dive in for the sake of learning from the experience.
Even though it's hard to let go of the past and trust myself and others, I choose to practice radical forgiveness of myself and others.
Type #7: Epicure/Optimist/Enthusiast
Even though I don't have patience and I am impulsive, I choose to explore things that take time and considerable effort by working on my underlying fears.
Even though I feel uncomfortable listening to the suffering of others, I choose to develop more empathy and greater listening skills.
Even though I am scared to acknowledge the negative side of life, my life is richer and more meaningful by experiencing the whole gamut of my emotions.
Type #8: Director/Powerhouse/Challenger
Even though I feel all of this anger and I freely express it, I choose to explore the other softer emotions that it might be masking.
Even though I am angry when others are weak, unavailable, or inattentive, I love and accept myself without prejudice.
Even though I am not comfortable losing control by not being a leader, I can learn a lot by being a follower too.
Type #9: Peacemaker/Accommodator/Mediator
Even though I am afraid to act and I procrastinate often, I choose to look at the fears behind my inability to move forward.
Even though I hate conflict and I avoid anger, anger can serve to show me what's important to me, and I choose to pay attention to it.
Even though I am scared to make others angry with my opinions and desires, I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally.
The more you can begin identifying how these modes of behavior have served you in the past, and what your core issues are as they relate to your type using EFT, the more you can release the compulsion to exist the same old repetitive way. By using EFT to collapse those patterns by tapping on key individual events, not only do you succeed in breaking free of these habitual limiting operating systems, but you become a more expanded version of your authentic self. As an EFT practitioner, a study of the Enneagram Personality System can facilitate rapport with a client, as well as provide you with a powerful tool to having a deeper understanding into their core motivators. You can then go on to use this information to assist them in recognizing stress points and in setting goals for their healing with EFT.
Alina Frank EFT CERT-I
Certified EFT Practitioner
(2) Riso, Don Richard and Hudson, Russ Discovering your Personality Type, Houghton Mifflin, NY. 2003
(3) Daniels, David N. and Price, Virginia, The Essential Enneagram, Harper Collins, N.Y. 2000.