One Phone Session: Relief from Years of Abuse
Dear EFT Community,
Donna Kusz (she wanted her real name used) experienced years of systematic physical and emotional abuse from her angry father. As an adult, Donna suffered from depression and panic disorder. Dr. Alexander R. Lees from Canada did an hour EFT phone session with her and she made great progress in just one hour. After the session, she said, "I feel overwhelmed with relief." Here is a letter from Donna about the session with comments by Dr. Lees.
Letter to Dr. Alexander Lees
from Donna Kusz
(with comments by Dr. Lees throughout)
For many years I have carried around a haunting caused by the violence of and abuse by my extremely angry father. "He.... who has been at peace (deceased) for 22 years." And with it, comes the sad, sad memories of what his angry mind had done to our family. Behind his death trails a chain, with links still connected and tightly squeezed together. My family continues to endure this violence and abuse...but now at the hands of his angry son, my brother. "So when does this all end?"
Fourteen years and many tears later came the sad ending of my marriage. Included is the raising of two young sons. Depression, sadness, and feelings of longing in life have lived with me for many years, to no one's real knowing (no one close, that is). I am presently unemployed, a single mother of two, and one who felt lost without a sense of direction. I am saying this now in past tense, due to feeling greatly relieved after experiencing Emotional Freedom Techniques.
I contacted Dr. Alexander Lees for a phone session. Dr. Lees had asked me how my children are, whether this aggression had been passed on to them. My reply was "No, they are perfect. I feel their blood is pure and free from the taint." He then reminded me that I was the one, that I chose to break this vicious cycle. In my heart I have always known that my children could have been the smallest of the links, joined together in this circle of family violence. "This is where it all ends."
I mentioned to Dr. Lees that I am also in the process of writing a book on my three-year ordeal with panic disorder, but find myself with a problem. He then asked what my problem was. "I can't write, how can I write a book on panic disorder, for which the content needs to be and must be inspirational, when I have these feelings of sadness?"
Commentary by Dr. Lees: Here is how this part of the session went...
Alex: "You're depressed about writing a book on panic disorder?" Donna: "No, I'm depressed, AND trying to write a book on panic disorder." Alex: "Okay. Let's clear the depression so you can write about panic, and then you can write a book about depression, as well." Donna began laughing, and starting with the PR point, we used the phrase "Even though I'm too depressed to write a book about panic, now that I'm over the panic, at least I won't be panicked while writing about depression. Nonetheless, I deeply and completely accept myself." Because there was slight hesitation in her voice uttering the words "deeply and completely accept myself," I rephrased this to "Even though I don't accept the depression, I can accept and love myself."
Donna's letter continues:
Dr. Lees then said that I should consider writing a book on panic disorder and one on depression also. This really made me laugh. I thought at the time that this man has no idea about how difficult it is to write a book, especially for a new artist (only to realize later that he and his wife, Berit, have written one of their own).
During the hour session, I cried, then laughed, then cried again. I know that crying is a great way to relieve tension, but the laughing also brought greater relief. I know that I will finish writing this book, and somehow I feel that Dr. Lees knows this also, for I sense a believer in him.
After I hung up the phone, I cried again. No, this is really an understatement. I bawled my eyes out. I think it was from relief, confused at first with all that was going through my mind, but also able now to see things a lot more clearly.
I thought long and hard about Dr. Lees and EFT for the next few days and still do to this day. I know men are not all that bad. Even though Dr. Lees told me to say they were.... ha, ha (this was part of the tapping therapy).
Commentary by Dr. Lees: The phrase, using the PR point, was "Even though all men are bad, which makes it easy 'cause there's just one rule, and it's probably 'cause they are all from a defective gene pool, nonetheless, I'm okay, but they are not." This was repeated, with minor variations, and Donna then did a round using the phrase "This feeling about men."
Donna's letter continues:
The sadness and the depression has lessened greatly and I am better able to accept myself as who I am. And with continued tapping I can now better accept how I feel on any given day. "Now I am the one at peace."
This was one of my finest hours. An hour of great inspiration and one that I will hang on to forever. With the help of EFT and Dr. Lees, I feel overwhelmed with relief. I have recovered a part of what I consider to be my great loss, the loss of my self-worth.
I am much more confident since my EFT session. I know I will accomplish doing what I have to, and will set out to do, in the future; including the book I continue to write. I will finish my book on panic disorder, holding high hope that one day it will bring relief and inspirational joy to many that suffer from this condition. And for myself (recently recovered), "I will see it in paperback on the shelves."
To summarize, I know one phone session with EFT was only the beginning, since I don't feel one session of any type of therapy can and should work miracles. But I do feel less anxious, and hold a greater and higher value for myself. This is one of my life's greatest blessings.
Sincerely, Donna Kusz