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Children's Issues

EFT for Child's Fear of Being Alone in a Room

Dear EFT Community,

Here Joan Costello tells about using EFT to help an eight-year-old boy overcome his fear and panic at being alone in a room. Children learn with ease how to tap and can do it on their own too. 

-Will M


By Joan Costello

I have been doing EFT for Kids group workshops for about one year. Most of these workshops have been for parents, guardians, and teachers, who bring home what they learn to teach their children or surrogately tap on them. However, I find that one-on-one with a child works amazingly well. Young children are so open to this technique! 

This brings me to the story of Tommy, a precocious eight-year-old with major fear issues. Tommy’s mother is a mentally ill drug addict who has not been around most of his life. He is being raised by his grandparents. He bonded with his mother as a baby, but since then has had major issues of abandonment and feeling responsible for her well-being. 

He sees his mother once or twice a month under supervised visits. At the age of about four, his mother’s boyfriend held Tommy over the railing of a railroad bridge as a threat toward his mother. Although, his grandparents had Tommy in traditional therapy for this trauma, his fears relating to that time are still there. Recently, this man came back into his mother’s life, and Tommy has had nightmares, fear of being alone, fear of the dark, fear for his mom.  

Tommy is very open and talks about his fears with nothing held back. Unfortunately, he also does not want to be singled out as someone with a “problem,” so we asked his four-year-old cousin Jenny to join us on being afraid of things that aren’t there. We began our tapping with Jenny being afraid of her dark closet. Even though the closet is very dark, I know it is just my clothes hanging there and I am safe. I added some humor about dressing a scarecrow or snowman in our clothes, getting giggles out of them. 

Then we moved on to Tommy’s fears:  

Even though that man called the house last week and asked for my mom, he isn’t here, and I am safe with my grandma and grandpa. 

Even though I am afraid to be alone, my family is in the house with me and I have a lot of love protecting me. 

Even though I am still afraid, all I have to do is walk into the next room, and I am not alone. 

Even though that man was very bad to me when I was little, I am okay now—safe in my home. 

Even though I am afraid for my mom, she is an adult and I am a little boy. She can take care of herself, and grandma and grandpa will take care of me. 

Tommy has had three sessions, and calls me when a situation triggers his fears. The difference in him is amazing. He doesn’t call out in a panic when alone in a room. He isn’t afraid to wait at the end of the driveway for the school bus, and his nightmares have stopped. Thank God, most children don’t have to deal with issues like these. 

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