By K. L.
One Christmas Eve, I started to experience severe pain in my joints and muscles--most especially in my back. They were heavy flu-like symptoms. After a few weeks of constant pain, I went to a doctor and I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia.
I was in pain almost all the time. I had a few good days followed by a few bad weeks. I used to be a very active person rarely watching T.V. and I became this person who would rush home from work, often early, to spend the rest of the day in bed watching T.V. and sleeping.
Even worse than the pain was the fatigue. It was nothing like normal fatigue.
I often had problems walking; each step needed conscious extra effort from me. At times lifting my arm or leg was like lifting heavy weights. I stopped doing many things automatically. Many activities, even really small ones, like getting a cup out from a shelf, needed special effort. I could be exhausted after brushing my teeth even though I washed them sitting down. I had difficulties putting on my clothes. It was such a challenge to get ready for work in the morning.
I felt like I was one-hundred-years-old.
I felt embarrassed; I did not know how to talk about it with my family and friends. I was probably afraid that they might tell me that I am overreacting, that it's all in my head. I started to go to different alternative practitioners and they kept telling me that I have chosen my fibromyalgia. It did not help; it just made me feel guilty. I tried different diets including fasting and I had some relief but after a while the pain and fatigue would always return.
Around the following May, a friend of mine told me about EFT.
I printed the EFT mini-manual from the website and I signed up for an upcoming EFT workshop. I attended an EFT Workshop in Chicago and my intuition told me that this was going to be the method for me. The most attractive part was the fact that I could do it myself, that I didn't feel powerless. At the workshop I met an EFT Expert practitioner and I asked him to work with me. He seemed like a very considerate, compassionate and gentle person.
After working with me over the phone, my life has completely changed.
Even though the whole process, which brought me to the moment where I am now, is important, there are a few steps that I feel are particularly worth mentioning (stepping stones).
The first step was the phone EFT tapping session where, for the first time, I was completely freed of pain. It gave me strength and faith that I could be healed. Afterwards, I noticed that tapping gave me a big shift in my energy. I stopped being fatigued most of the time. I also noticed that it was getting much easier for me to listen to my intuition.
Next, we began work on my core issue; which was my guilt and responsibility for my mother's suffering and my core belief that "I must suffer in my life."
He suggested I tap:
"I believe that I must suffer a lot in my life,"
"I didn't deserve to be healthy and happy," and
"I don't believe I can free myself from suffering."
I also tapped a lot for affirmations, for example:
"Even though I believe I must suffer a lot in my life, I'm willing to open my heart to myself" or
"Even though I've thought that I didn't deserve to be healthy and happy, I love being healthy, as I deeply and completely accept myself."
Especially important for me was:
"Even though I don't believe I can free myself from suffering, I'm grateful for this pain gift which brought me understanding and compassion, but now I'm willing to learn from joy instead."
I also tapped on experiences from my past associated with this.
While attending a Buddhist retreat, I started to feel a sharp pain under my left shoulder. After a while, the pain became more and more nagging. Since the onset of the fibromyalgia, my sleep was shallow, especially in the mornings, after 2:00 a.m. Now, with this left shoulder pain, I woke up dozens of times throughout the night. I was growing increasingly frustrated; I was tired and desperate to get some sleep.
The more I tried to resist the pain, the more it persisted. I woke up every hour to struggle with the pain.
I started to tap:
"Even though I am struggling wiht this pain, I'm willing to receive the message that the pain gives me."
After tapping for a while I realized that I needed this pain; I sometimes greet it with gratitude. I almost enjoyed my wakeful nights; they help me practice holding my attention on my breath.
I also tapped:
"Even though I'm grateful for the message this pain gives me and I recognize the fear behind it, I'm now willing to see if my path to enlightenment can be filled with joy and gratefulness instead."
Then, I traveled to Toronto, Canada for an Energy Psychology Conference. I attended an EFT workshop and I was temporarily freed of back pain while the presenter was working with somebody else suffering from fibromyalgia. Completely intuitively, I asked for a private session.
At the session I asked to work on my recurring back pain in my shoulder. We reconstructed the lineage from which the pain had come. The links brought me through the retreat and suffering to my childhood, my parents and my mother's depression. A few times I was asked to stand up while we were talking. We spent some time talking about my mother's suffering. I wanted to free her from her pain and misery.
The pain under my shoulder was getting more intense. I was asked to I give my mother back all the hurt in a symbolic way. I did it and I felt an enormous relief.
A few moments after that I felt immense happiness. I started to laugh and I laughed with all my heart. I stopped laughing as I felt this huge wave of joy coming toward me. I felt like the gate to the Universe had opened. I saw two different spaces. I felt I was in both spaces. I felt pain in my back, but it felt very different. It did not bother me at all. It was just something I once called pain.
I was completely free of pain. Everything seemed to be lucid and transparent.
After a while, I felt an even deeper wave of joy. I felt an amazing hoop vibrating around my heart. This new space had opened up for me and I felt infinitely and entirely free and complete. I did not feel joy, I was joy. And everything else was joy. There was nothing before or beyond. There was no time. There was pure and absolutely perfect joy. Then gratitude emerged and I felt profound gratitude to all my teachers, my family, my neighbors, and all the people I once feared.
It was boundless gratitude.
After my EFT tapping session was complete, I returned to the conference. For the next few days I was filled with blissful joy. I felt such amazing lightness in my body. The lingering shoulder pain began to vanish and each day there was less and less of it. After a couple days, I slept through a whole night completely free from pain.
After 10 more days of EFT tapping, I was completely freed of the pain.
My life has changed dramatically. I am freed of my past. I am not a victim of fibromyalgia anymore. I took ownership for whatever has happened in my life. Every now and then I still experience mild pain at some level but it doesn't bother me. I know that I can tap and take good care of myself.
I am profoundly grateful for helping me to open the gate to my new life—a life full of adventures, surprises, love, joy, connections, and responsibility without guilt.