Dear EFT Community,
As Angie Muccillo was doing some generalized tapping with her client, an important core issue appeared. The client had a very significant memory of herself as a child where she distinctly remembered making a decision "to be miserable." She was still hanging on to the past, despite wanting very much to move on. Read how EFT helped Angie's client release the pain of her past and the misery she had been carrying with her throughout her life.
- EFT Universe
By Angie Muccillo
I recently had an EFT session with a woman who has suffered anxiety and depression since her childhood shortly after her father committed suicide.
Naturally this is a tragic, deeply traumatic and sad event in any child's life. She has consequently had years of therapy and whilst she can talk about her father's death now, it took a very long time before she could do so. At the time, due to the level of grief and overwhelm experienced by her mother and family, no-one ever talked about what happened or comforted her in any way.
All she remembers is feeling so completely alone, scared and with a constant aching sadness in her heart.
After her dad's death she was always sent to school early and remembers sitting and crying alone and in fear behind the shelter sheds. The family's grief was so deep and their ability to function normally so severely impaired that her needs for comfort and support were not able to be met by her immediate family.
After tapping on several issues around her father's death, including how she felt as a child and other issues currently keeping her stuck in her life, she became saddened by the realization that so much of her life has been consumed by this.
She was still hanging on to the past, despite wanting very much to move on.
So at this point we tapped on:
Even though part of me is still hanging on to the past...
Even though I'm so sad that this has consumed so much of my life that I don't even know what it's like not to have it...
Even though I've not had the career, the family, the life I wanted because of this...
Even though if I give up the past now I won't know where I'll be, who I am or where to go, I choose to focus on my personal vision of peace (which she described earlier, as the life she wanted).
As she tapped on this, a very significant memory of herself as a child popped into her head. She distinctly remembered making a decision as a child "to be miserable." The reasoning behind this was "if I am miserable someone might come." She explained that as a child she always felt sad, alone and scared, often crying for hours waiting for someone to come and comfort her.
But all too often this need went unmet. This "childhood decision" was made at a time when she was in deep mourning for the loss of her father. The "decision to be miserable" became a part of her life was likely to be at the core of her depression.
So we tapped on something to this effect:
Even though I made a decision as a child to be miserable, I am an adult now and choose to make a different choice. I choose to be happy and focus on my personal vision of peace instead and let go of the vow I made as a hurt, sad and lonely child.
I spoke to her recently and she reports that, since the session, she has experienced "amazing relief" accompanied by a dramatic decrease in her anxiety levels and physical symptoms (stomach tension). The deep sense of sadness she has carried for such a long time has lifted and she reports feeling much lighter and more at peace.
Uncovering and letting go of the childhood "decision to be miserable" seems to have removed a major roadblock in her life and is allowing her to experience greater happiness. She has since started to take action in areas of her life where she previously felt stuck.
Her career has for a long time been a major source of anxiety for her and immediately after our session she took action by making an appointment with a career counselor to help clarify her career options/direction.
She has continued tapping at home and has started incorporating EFT with her meditation.
As she taps on her current anxiety she is finding more and more links to the past and childhood events which she continues to tap on. Whilst she recognizes the need to do more tapping, she is delighted with the changes she has experienced so far.
As we know, childhood events shape our lives. I can't help but wonder how different her life may have been if, as a child living under those circumstances, she had EFT by her side to release all those feelings of sadness, hurt and loneliness.
Of course that would not have bought her father back, but the deep pain in her heart that she felt as a child and that manifested as anxiety and depression, could have been significantly eased if she had access to EFT at the time.
I think this highlights the importance of teaching our children to tap so that they have the opportunity, either with an adult or alone in their room or behind the shelter sheds or in any moment of need, to release the strong and overwhelming emotions that they are confronted with. A child who has lost a parent (or suffered any other tragedy/trauma) in today's age does have access to this wonderful tool and we as adults have the ability to make a difference by teaching it to them.