A Barber's Pain Helped with EFT
Dear EFT Community,
During a visit to his barber, Patrick Howell uses EFT to relieve debilitating pain. Patrick reminds us how it is importante to establish a bridge with clients in order to avoid not giving credit to EFT for the results.
By Patrick Howell, EFT-Cert-1
It was late one afternoon, when I decided to go to the barber that I have known for years.
As I walked into his shop I realized that I was probably going to be the last customer for the day. I sat in the barber shop and we began to talk. It was obvious to me that Peter was not feeling well, so I asked him, and he said that he was in so much pain, he could not stand it and if he continued like this, he was not going to be able to work tomorrow.
I explained to him that I know this stress relief technique that helps people to feel more relaxed, and would he like to try it?
Peter said that he was in so much pain that he would try anything. I told him that we were going to measure his pain on a scale of 0-10, 10 being the most pain, and 0 being -pain free). Of course, I knew that his pain was a 10 level.
Somehow he had a hard time coming up with a number for his pain, maybe it was a 2.
I asked Peter, where do you feel the pain? And he said that he had pain all over his hips,
back, shoulders and neck. I then asked him to describe the pain for me, was it sharp, dull, burning, etc.? Peter said that he had sharp pain and that he could barely walk around me to give me a haircut. He said that he was in so much pain that if the phone rang, he would not be able to walk to his desk and answer the phone.
Before we did anything else, I told him, “without hurting yourself, what do you think your range of motion is?” Peter could not touch his chin to his chest, I decided to address the physical pain first, so I told him to tap the side of his hand and say what I say:
“Even though I have this tremendous pain in my hips, I deeply and completely love and accept myself”
“Even though my back hurts so bad, and I cannot bend over, I accept myself and I accept the fact that I am having this horrible pain”
“Even though I can hardly walk around the chair to cut your hair, I deeply and profoundly accept myself”
“Even though my shoulders and my neck are stiff and full of pain and I cannot relax, I can’t move, I feel restricted, I am wondering if I might be able to let some of the pain go, what if I could relax just a little bit?”
Then I tapped for him on the energy points, because he was having a hard time moving:
I have this tremendous pain in my hips
My back hurts so bad, I cannot bend over
I can hardly walk
My shoulders and my neck are so stiff
I can’t move
I feel restricted
I cannot even walk to my desk
My back hurts so much
The pain is so sharp, I cannot stand it
After some rounds, I told him, “without hurting yourself, can you show me how mobile you are.” Peter was able to bend at his hip at a 35 degree angle. When he straightened back up, the look on his face was unbelievable.
He said: “What the heck did you do? I can move a little bit,” he even walked to where his desk was and back. At this point, I had him at 7 pain on the 0-10 scale; again he could not exactly tell me an intensity number for his pain.
I knew that I could not give him a full session there, we only had 15 to 20 minutes, so I asked him, “Has something happened to you that is bothering you?” (I wanted to find out If there were emotional contributors to his pain) I also know that if I start talking about emotions, I lose the interest of some men.
Peter said that he was worried about his mother, who lives hundreds of miles away. She was having medical issues and he was so far away, he could not respond quickly.
I asked him, “What type of support does your mother have?”
And that is when I found out, what I believe to be one of the core issues: Peter said, “My sister only lives a couple of miles away and she is not helping my mother, like she should be” I said, “Peter, what exactly does your mother need?” And Peter said, “ My mother needs rides to the doctor, she needs help with her meals, and she needs someone to clean her house. I asked him, “How does this make you feel?”
Peter said that he was so angry and frustrated and he felt that his mother’s care was on his shoulders.
I stopped asking him about the intensity of his emotions, because he could not figure it out, but I had him at a 10 anger towards his sister.
So we started tapping on the karate chop point and said: (By this time he was tapping for himself, because he felt less pain)
“Even though I have all this anger towards my sister and I am so frustrated because she lives so close to my mother, and does so little, I deeply and completely accept myself anyway”
“Even though I am so angry, because I live so far away and I can’t react quickly to my mother’s needs, I am so frustrated, I don’t know what I can do, maybe I can allow myself to let go of some of this anger”
“Even though I am so angry at the whole situation, and I feel so restricted, it is not easy for me to do anything. I do not have any freedom here”
“Even though I believe that my mother’s care is on my shoulders, I have to take care of her all by myself and I live so far away, I might be able to talk to my sister, and we might be able to come up with a plan, and I deeply accept myself anyway and I am open to an effective solution to this problem"
And then we tapped on the energy points with the reminder phrases.
After the rounds I asked Peter, “Did something come up for you during the tapping?
Any thoughts, feelings, memories, or physical sensations?” By this time, I felt that his anger had dropped from a 10 to a 5.
Peter said that he was feeling so confused, because he wanted to take care of his mother like a good son would do, and at the same time, he was angry at her, because she called every day to complain about her situation and she talked at length.
Frankly, he was tired of that; and then he felt guilty because he was having these feelings. He felt that his mother was restricting him, he was angry that she took so much of his time, he wanted to do other things besides listening to her.
“Even though I am still angry at my mother, she calls me every day, she complains the whole time, she is driving me crazy, What if I could calm down and allow myself some peace, I am open to feeling peaceful”
“Even though I am still angry at my mother, at my sister, at myself, I am confused, I don’t know what I am feeling anymore. I deeply and profoundly accept myself and maybe I could let this anger go, it is restricting me, it does not help at all, this anger is immobilizing me, so it is time to let it go”
“Even though I have this remaining anger towards my mother, and I feel guilty for feeling this way, I deeply accept and forgive myself for having these feelings. I recognize that I am only human and that I have been stressing out about her condition, I want to let go of this remaining anger so I can feel better”
“Even though I have this remaining anger towards my mother, she is restricting me, and then I feel guilty for wanting to have some free time to pursue the activities that I like to do, I forgive myself for feeling this way, and I am allowing myself and my body to be flexible”
After these rounds, he looked more relaxed, so I asked him to test his range of motion,
without hurting himself. Peter bent down and his fingers went one to two inches from the floor. Peter said he was amazed, walked over to his desk and back, and I saw that he was walking normally and he said that he was almost pain free. We left it at that, and he proceeded to give me a haircut.
I called Peter the next day at his barber shop, I asked him how he was feeling. Peter said
that he got out of bed this morning with only minor discomfort in his back. He was able to take a shower, dress himself and drive to work. He was easily walking and bending and he did not have to take the day off, as he had planned.
Interestingly, Peter did not give EFT credit for his pain relief, even though he was mobile and almost pain free.