An Example of Finding a Core Issue in EFT
Dear EFT Community,
This case history, submitted by Lesley Broadhead, underscores the importance of trusting our intuition. Her client said she wanted more confidence while driving a car. It turned out that there was a hidden emotional issue contributing to her lack of confidence. Read on to discover the core issue and how Lesley found it.
- EFT Universe
By Lesley Broadhead
I have been using EFT with clients now for about two years and I am constantly amazed at its power.
As I become more confident in its application, I am having success after success. The following is an account of a session with my client Sue, who wanted "more confidence" when she was driving her car.
Sue had visited another therapist prior to coming to me and they had worked on confidence issues—an obviously logical approach.
I began by asking questions about her driving in general and it quickly became apparent that once she was on an open road she was actually quite confident; the issues seemed more related to setting off and parking again. She was so scared of these times that she preferred not to drive at all.
Indeed, I had asked her to drive her car to keep her appointment and she had phoned repeatedly throughout the week before to say she could not do this and gave numerous excuses. When she arrived at my office, she was in quite a state!
I discovered that Sue had not started to drive until she was in her late 40s and now at 56 she had just bought her second car. She talked about the car quite passionately. It was, she admitted, her pride and joy. One of the most distressing times for her had been when she had damaged the wing mirror on her first car as she was pulling into the drive. Prior to this she had been reasonably okay when driving but never happy and always with anxiety.
She mostly avoided driving.
We discussed the wing mirror incident and her anxiety level went to 8. We did some tapping on this and brought the level down. Further questioning about the incident revealed that it was only after she got out of her car and saw the damage that she felt sick, shaky, and panicky with "a dreadful feeling" in her belly. Her level became a 9 when she discussed the "damage to my pride and joy."
This is where the intuition came in.
Suddenly, the following question popped into my head: "What precious possession did you have as a child that got damaged or destroyed?"
Instantly, she became tearful and began discussing her baby doll.
The doll was her "pride and joy." She was one of nine children and the family was extremely poor. Every year in October/November the doll would go missing only to reappear on Christmas day with a new outfit looking all clean and cared for. This went on for a number of years so she became used to the doll going missing and did not question much when it disappeared again one summer. She was convinced it would reappear as usual, looking better than ever. It did not return.
When she questioned her mother, she was told, "Oh, I gave it to the little girl down the road who is poor." This was her worst nightmare. She went running down the road and found the little girl who pointed to where the baby doll was thrown. Her beloved doll was damaged beyond repair—no arms, no legs, all dirty and naked. "How did she look?" I inquired. "Sad, very, very sad. She was mine, how could she do that to my baby doll? I loved my baby doll and I never got over that. I had to be brave, though, and just get on with my life."
"How do you feel when you think about this, Sue?" I asked. "Sad, very, very sad," she said.
"Is it the same feeling you get when you get in your car?" Sue looked surprised but nodded.
Needless to say, we did some tapping on this:
"Even though my beloved baby doll was sad and all forlorn..."
"Even though I loved my baby doll and she was taken from me..."
"Even though my pride and joy was damaged..."
"Even though my mother should never have done that..."
"Even though that little girl was cruel..."
"Even though all this happened and I have never forgotten my baby doll, I choose to forgive my mum and the little girl. Even though that's hard!"
We then went out to sit in her car.
Sue reported feeling good but with reservations. She couldn't quite believe that the doll incident could be the answer.
We tapped on:
"Even though I don't believe this has worked."
Sue then felt excited and just wanted to get off home and try out her new confidence.
She set off and within the hour phoned to say how great the journey home had been. "No wobbles in my belly. I just drove happily home and up the drive without a flicker. Thank you so much. This feels great."
The following day I received another call to say she had been so excited about driving to work that she had barely slept and just couldn't wait to get into the car again!
My intuition had told me that her concerns were not about driving as much as fearing she would damage her beloved car, her possession.