By Dawson Church, EFT TRN-3
Another way to uncover specific events related to your weight is to use an affirmation process that will trigger "tail-enders." Tail-enders are the "yes, but" statements that contradict and sabotage your new goals.
For example, if you ask your system to confirm something that isn't currently true, such as, "I now look like a swimsuit model," your mind will instantly begin screaming its objections.
Here's how to take advantage of these objections and make them work for you.
When I began my weight loss journey, I took a hard look at my routine. I'd go to the bathroom and take a look at the Humpback whale around my belly, and say, "My natural weight is 222 pounds." However, I had all kinds of other voices that made contradictory statements.
Those contrary voices are why affirmations don't work.
I think affirmations can be very powerful and useful, but most of us have, like me, had mixed success with them. That's because of all the tail-enders that arise when we state our affirmations. Just stating an affirmation usually brings up a host of negative voices ready to speak up and ensure we don't meet our goals.
For example, if your goal weight is 125 pounds, you might use the following affirmation statement:
My normal weight is 125 pounds and that's what I weigh.
Try this now by filling the blank with your ideal weight and saying it out loud with as much conviction as you can muster:
My normal weight is _____ pounds and that's what I weigh.
Now listen to what happens on the inside. When you declare a reality that is not currently true, your conflicting issues will often present some opposition, also known as negative self-talk or "tail-enders."
You might hear something like:
No way ... look at the scale.
It isn't safe to be that thin.
I'm afraid of being hungry.
My friends or family won't like me.
I won't be able to complain anymore.
I can't afford new clothes.
I don't trust skinny people.
I'll never lose weight.
I can never be skinny.
Look at this cellulite!
Losing weight is too difficult.
Unaddressed, tail-enders have the power to sabotage any goal you try to achieve. On the bright side, tail-enders also point to directly to issues you can disarm with EFT, thus removing their power from your weight loss process.
For example, if the tail-ender you heard was, "My friends won't like me," you can be there have been events in your life that helped you come to that conclusion. Take some time to review your experiences and tap on any events that might be related. Maybe your mother made fun of the skinny kid who lived next door or you heard your friend judge thin people on TV. Anything like this could contribute to your resistance to losing weight, but using EFT for those events can release their intensity and provide the freedom you need to reach your goal.
Once you identify a specific event that may be contributing to your issue with weight, simply tap the points while telling the story of that event until its emotional intensity disappears.
To be more effective, identify which emotions you experienced during the event and address them individually:
Even though I felt humiliated when my mother said that, I deeply and completely accept myself.
Use "this humiliation" as your Reminder Phrase.
Once the emotional intensity for humiliation is released, substitute anger, hopelessness, or any other feeling you experienced and address it next.
Excerpted from EFT for Weight Loss, Pages 154-156
By Dawson Church, Phd